Inside the Insane
b y Paul Campbell ©
How do we know that the insane aren’t really the sane and the sane aren’t really the insane? That answer is easy. There are more people that we call sane and majority always rules. So those of us on the outside of rubber rooms must then be the sane right?
***
Dr. Van Hoesenburgh III was known in many circles as a brilliant man. He had devoted his life at a very early age to the study of the human mind. Now passing the age of fifty-three he had accumulated more knowledge on the subject than any other man before him. When asked by others why he had given his life wholly to just one subject he would simply answer: “Inside the human mind drives the soul.” Not many people would ask anything beyond this unless they had the rest of the day for lectures on the subject.
The doctor was very passionate about his work and felt others around him should be the same way. He had taught a college course on the subject of the human mind which had been called: “The Mind within the Mind.” However, the University of YSU had to let him go just after one quarter due to the fact that his classes would always run twice as long as they were scheduled too. He would also assign well over one hundred hours of impossible homework per week. He hadn’t let this dismissal mentally disturb him. He just hadn’t learned as of yet that the rest of the world was still beneath him on the subject.
Actually, he had done quite a bit of different types of work through out his years. In his older age he had decided to stick to writing papers on the subject though. He was also a practicing mental doctor in a very little known town in Ohio. His place of work was a government funded mental asylum hidden away in Trumbull County. It was so well hidden that very little to no surrounding residents even knew it existed. The doctor liked it this way; it provided him with undisturbed study.
The doctor had moved from Germany with his family and grandfather at a very early age. His grandfather had served in WWII in the human research department. At least that was what they had officially called it at the time. Truth was, his grandfather had used humans as guinea pigs under the hidden direction of Adolph Hitler himself. His grandfather had been fortunate enough to have been working in one of the concentration camps that been closed down before the war had ended. His family was provided for generously afterwards by the Third Reich. This was the money which was used for their eventual move to the states. This money also kept the doctor in specialized personal schools while growing up. His grandfather had died shortly after the move but he had always wanted to follow in his foot steps as a youth. “The work my grandfather did when he was alive was cruel, but yet a necessity. The world has learned much from his work and we continue it today, but in a more humane way.”
Dr. Van Hoesenburgh III hadn’t grown up to be a butcher like his grandfather had before him, however. He was a well respected man in the medical field in fact. He would lecture to standing room only crowds from time to time when he wasn’t submerged head over heels in his work.
At this point the doctor hadn’t lectured in some time. He had been wrapped up in a case for the past five plus years. In fact over the past three of those years he had seldom even left the asylum in Trumbull County. He took his meals in the cafeteria, when he actually took time to eat, of course, and slept in his office on the couch.
The case he found himself so wrapped up in was that of a thirty-five year old man by the name of Billy Bean. The name had been the first thing to catch his attention on the file folders when they had arrived.
However, once he had dove into the file and had found out that he had killed seventy-three people at the age of five he was hooked. He couldn’t get over the fact that a five year old could’ve done such devastation. Let alone not getting caught for so long. This child had to have had a monster within and a smart one at that.
The first couple of years had gotten the doctor literally nowhere. Then came that day he made the breakthrough. The doctor never did know quite how it happened but was relieved for it nonetheless. This is when the doctor first started setting up home at work. Over the years rumors had circulated between the nurses and other doctors that he had sold his actual home and all its furnishings and had planned to live here for the rest of his natural life. The doctor had no family to speak of, other than his work, so this could be a possibility.
Over the years the doctor had read and tried virtually everything meant for relaxation of the mind. However, he was never able to find anything to slow down his train of thought. He often got little sleep because he could never stop thinking long enough for his mind to shut itself down into a sleep mode.
This all ended when the package came though.
It came on a nice sunny morning, or at least this was what the doctor had been told. The asylum had little to no windows in it and he very seldom ever ventured outside anymore, so he often just took their word on the weather. It was in a plain brown wrapping that saw its better days. The address label was barely legible. It had been addressed to The Human Research Department, Doctor Van Hoesenburgh I.
The package had been sent to his grandfather back in 1942 judging by the date on the stamping. It had taken this long to find his family. His grandfather had died some time ago and as far as he knew he was the last surviving member of his family name. He was hesitant to open it, but in the privacy of his office he did.
After removing the brown wrapping he had exposed a black wooden box. Inside the black wooden box was a ton of black wooden puzzle pieces. Five hundred of them to be exact, the doctor had counted them, being the type of man he was he had to. They were black on both sides with no hint of any kind of picture what so ever on either side. There had been a small note enclosed in the box. There was only one short sentence scrolled on the parchment in German writing which said “Beware of the watcher.”
He sat and thought of what this could mean for awhile, but came up with nothing. The doctor found this very strange and had ended up setting the box aside and forgetting about it for weeks.
One night when the doctor was laying in bed unable to sleep, the black puzzle came to mind. Knowing that he would have no sleep that night, he got up off his couch and began working the puzzle. It didn’t take long for him to find that working the black puzzle was relaxing him. He finally became relaxed enough to the point where he was able to get some sleep that night. He had tried puzzles just for this purpose in the past but they hadn’t had the same effect on him that this one had. Every night thereafter he continued to work the puzzle up until the night that he completed it.
He had worked the five hundred piece puzzle across the surface of his large wooden desk. The puzzle itself had to be at least three foot by three foot covering most of his desktop. Holding the last piece in his hand he sat there and stared at the puzzle for a moment. After the puzzle was done so was his restful sleep at night he thought, unless he tore it completely apart and started it over the next night. However, he doubted it would have the same effect on him a second time around. Taking a deep breathe he placed the last piece into its home completing the puzzle.
Sitting back looking at the plain black puzzle surface he noticed something odd starting to happen. It started in the center of the puzzle and was working its way out. The pieces of the puzzle looked to be falling downward as if there were a hole directly under the puzzle. Before long the entire puzzle was gone leaving a black hole in the top of his desk the exact size and place the puzzle had been only minutes before. Being a lifelong man of science this didn’t shock him into running from the room, screaming like most others might’ve done in such circumstances. Rather, he sat there staring at its oddity.
First he took from his shirt pocket a pen and held it over the black hole. Letting go of it, it fell downward disappearing from sight and never making a sound of hitting anything resembling a bottom. He then slid back from the desk fully expecting to see his pen on the floor beneath it, but it wasn’t there. Now pulling the long thin center drawer from his desk he slid his hand under the desk to fill for the hole from beneath, but there was no hole on the underside of the desktop to be found. He finally took a flash light and bent over his desk and peered into the hole. Although the flash light had a brilliant light, it lit up nothing but pure blackness.
This perplexed the doctor to no end. He tried many other experiments, one after another. They all ended with uncertainty. He worked at this black hole until he was almost in a fit of rage. Finally sitting on his couch he laid his head back and sleep caught him off guard taking him under deep. The doctor had never dreamt a dream in his life and this period of sleep wasn’t any different.
Awakening from his rest he tilted his head forward rubbing the remainders of sleep from his eyes. This was when he saw a figure standing in front of him. The doctor glanced quickly to his office door. He always locked his door anytime he was in or out of his office. This time had been no exception to this he saw. Standing there starring, the figure spoke to him.
“Are you ready to take the next step doctor?”
“What is the next step? Who are you? How did you get in here and what are you talking about?”
“I see you have questions. Good. I had hoped there would be many because I have many answers for you. But first we must leave your world and return to mine. I can’t survive long in yours, as a matter of fact, I’ve been slowly dying in my own for years now. Come, we must go. Time grows very short.”
The doctor just sat there taking in the sight of this strange man before him. As any man would do awakening to such an oddity, the doctor made sure he was awake. After verifying this he looked this man over from head to toe. The man wore a long black leather coat all the way to the floor almost. He wore black leather boots, pants, belt and shirt of the same. He even wore fingerless black leather gloves. His skin color was a mixture of yellow, green and brown. It resembled the color of rot and smelled likewise. Then there was his head. Dear God his head. He had no hair to speak of. His mouth had no corners. It wrapped all the way around his egg shaped head. When he had spoke his entire top of his head had risen. He had no nose or ears either. He wore a pair of mirror shaded sunglasses that wrapped in a perfect ring around his head. For all the doctor knew his eyes could’ve been on the side, or even in the back of his head. But what seemed to turn the doctors stomach was the hoses and tubes that ran from the top of his head to his chest, back and shoulders. There was some kind of fluid circulating through them making gurgling sounds of suction. The man stepped towards the black hole and beckoned the doctor to follow.
The doctor resisted his urge and stayed planted on the now sweat soaked couch. The figure raised his hand and motioned the doctor to approach with him. The doctor still didn’t move.
“I know this must seem very strange to you doctor. In fact, this portal was never meant for you at all. It was intended for your grandfather. He was meant to be met by a totally different watcher as well. Seeing how your grandfather is no longer of this world, nor the watcher of his fleshed one, I used the portal for you instead. Now come with me doctor. I have much to show you. Billy Bean and I both need you.”
Billy Bean, the doctor thought for a moment. He had been trying to help this poor man for over five years now and had accomplished very little. But how this could have anything remotely to do with Billy was beyond him. How would following this strange looking and sour smelling man into that bottomless black hole help Billy?
“Where does the black hole lead stranger?”
“Watcher…. not stranger please. It leads into Billy’s mind doctor. This is the next step in the field of science on the human mind. Tell me you are ready to take that next step doctor. I have bet Billy’s and my life on it. Don’t let us down doctor. NOW COME! I must go.”
The watcher stepped up onto the doctors desk chair and then into the hole disappearing into the void.
The doctor followed right behind.
Now standing in a dark long narrow passage the doctor speaks up.
“I would first like to know about the black puzzle watcher.”
“The simplest way of explaining the black puzzle would be to say that it’s a black hole of sorts. Out in space when a star becomes a super nova it becomes so dense in matter that it implodes into itself. This creates a black hole. However, once a black hole is created it has an immense gravitational pull. The black puzzle, or should I say portal, doesn’t have such a pull. The portal is created in the same manner as the black hole in the fact that something must implode to create it. This would be a watcher such as I doctor. That is why I was in such a hurry to leave your world of flesh. Every moment a watcher exists in your world is one moment too long. A watcher begins to rot and decay at a very rapid rate. If the watcher waits too long he or she dies in your world and implodes creating a portal of energy. This is very rare. There is only about a dozen or so cases of this ever happening. In each case the portal takes on a familiar but different shape. In your case it was the black puzzle. In other cases they might be a mirror, window, picture, door, etc. These portals usually set dossal with some to never be used at all, as a matter of fact. But there are times when other watchers find uses for them as I have here.
It is said that the watcher that died and created this portal was one of a prisoner of your world’s second war. The prisoner was being put into a furnace to be cooked alive when the watcher was forced from his body. This is also very rare.
The soldiers seeing this watcher captured him and imprisoned him. The watcher imploded shortly afterwards leaving the black puzzle. This puzzle was then sent to your grandfather for further research but you ended up with it instead.”
“I’m afraid that I don’t understand much of what you just said watcher. It’s all very confusing.”
“That is to be expected doctor. You will come to understand it much more clearly as I show you what you need to see. For now doctor let’s concentrate on the here and now.”
“Where are we now watcher?”
“Where does it appear that we are doctor?”
The doctor took a look around from top to bottom before answering.
“Well, judging by the long dark narrow hallway, the hundreds if not thousands of wires, tubes, and pipes that hang from all the walls and ceiling, the rancid smell and the large rats at my feet…. I would say we were in hell watcher.”
“Close doctor, but not quite. We are in an outer hallway that leads into Billy’s mind. Most watchers don’t even know these hallways exist at all. I only found this one a few years ago myself.”
“So you’re saying that we will walk down this hallway and it will lead us into Billy’s mind if I understand you correctly?”
“Yes. But first I must explain something to you doctor. Nothing is as it seems to you here. Nothing you see, touch, smell or hear… and if you so desire… taste…. is as it truly is. I have spent years changing everything. Had I left it the way it should be you never would’ve been able to comprehend it and you would’ve denied its very existence. I realized many years ago that the human race was a very visual being. Things must meet a certain visual acceptance. Thus I have made the changes for Billy’s and your benefit. I have even changed my appearance for you.”
The doctor stood there a moment thinking that the watcher could’ve chosen a more regular type of guy look, but he could tolerate the man at least.
“Now come with me doctor we have little time.”
They slowly walked down the hallway dodging the fat rats that must’ve feasted their whole lives on
Billy’s brain tissue. At the end of the hallway they stopped.
“Before I continue watcher I have a question please.”
“Ask your question doctor.”
“You say this package was intended for my grandfather. Would he be experiencing the same thing as I am right now had he received it on time?”
“It’s similar but not the same. He would’ve been met by a totally different watcher and led to a different place similar to this. The war would’ve ended differently had he made that trip and the world of flesh
that you humans live in would’ve been a much different place by now also.”
“How is that so watcher?”
“I cannot say doctor. That never came to pass and never will now. It’s best left to the unknown for your sanities sake.”
The watcher pushed a door in front of him that the doctor hadn’t noticed until this point. Stepping through it they ended up in a very large domed room. The door of which they had just passed closed and disappeared to his human eyes. How the watcher had found it the doctor hadn’t a clue, but would have to ask him in the not so distant future so he would be able to find his way back home when needed. At this point the doctor felt the need for more answers.
“This might sound naive of me, but what exactly is a watcher?”
“Not at all doctor, I had anticipated this question. Do you know of the fairy tale, myth or legend, that humans have a guardian angel that watches over an individual to keep them from harms way?”
“Yes, I’m familiar with it.”
“Well it isn’t true… but it is in a way. You see doctor, when a human egg is fertilized beginning the birth process of a living being, this also begins the birth process of its watcher. Your science has come to the conclusion that the human uses between seven and fifteen percent of its mind. This is almost true but not quite. Actually a human uses about nineteen percent of its given mind. The rest is used to house its memories and, of course, the watcher.
The watcher grows in experience and wisdom ten times that of its flesh host. The watcher’s job is to control the balance of its hosts emotions and mental reactions to situations keeping a fine balance of them all. This provides your society with a well mentally balanced individual.
When a watcher gets sick or in some cases dies, this leaves no one inside to control these balances, therefore chaos consumes the mind. The individual then being unbalanced becomes a problem for its peers. In cases where the watcher dies all together, the body of the flesh becomes what doctors like you… deem insane.
It’s never the bodies fault or the watchers fault alone actually. As I have mentioned before doctor, I’m dying and have been now for some time. My illness actually started at mine and Billy’s birth. Billy’s mother was an alcoholic and his father shot drugs into his system. Billy physically came through it fine at birth. I, the watcher, was the one damaged.
I was able to cope with this damage until Billy hit the age of five. At this point I became deathly ill for a period of time. During this time I was unable to control and balance Billy’s emotions and feelings. Chaos and rage, two of the more powerful emotions, consumed him. This is when he went on his killing spree.
Are you following this Doctor?”
“Yes… actually I believe I am.”
“Walk with me doctor. I have much to show you as well as tell you.”
The watcher motioned for the doctor to follow him into the middle of the large domed room where one chair sat. Two large plasma type monitor screens hung from the ceiling facing the chair. There was a pair of large speakers that straddled the monitors as well.
“This doctor is the control room. From this chair you can see and hear everything Billy can. You cannot intervene of course. But you can monitor everything. You then have the choice of emotional response in which to feed Billy’s subconscious. It does have a sort of auto pilot but it shouldn’t be trusted for long periods of time or on complicated decisions. Have a seat doctor. See for yourself, but do not sit for long.”
The doctor sat into the chair and the screens lit up and the speakers came to life. He was able to see and hear all that Billy could. Standing up the screens and speakers shut down once more.
“I never would’ve guessed this in a million years watcher.”
“I know this doctor. There is more, much more. Time does not exist the way man sees it. Man counts time in seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, years, etc. This isn’t the true clock of time. At least not when judging human life expectancy. Take a look around this room doctor.”
The watcher waved his hand in a large swinging arch movement. As he did this the doctor followed his hand noticing now that the domed room was round and on the walls were many doors.
“Behind each one of these doors doctor is one years worth of memories. For you to better understand I have visually changed these halls as well. You will see my meaning when we enter them.”
The watcher started walking towards one of the doors lining the wall. The doctor followed eagerly now.
Approaching the first door the watcher stopped.
“Doctor I must warn you at this point. I have been quite sick for some time and have lost a lot of control of these surroundings. Billy has many emotions that have been running wild in these chambers for years.
They can be deadly and they are able to do indescribable damage to your flesh if they catch you. Do you understand me doctor?”
“I’m not sure I’m following you on this watcher. Can you be more elaborate?”
“You see doctor, in your world things that have no physical form may have such a form in here, even more so in most cases. I have, on occasion, seen Billy’s anger in several different physical forms in here.
They were hideous beasts pitted with rage and bent on destruction. Some climbed the walls where others slid upon the floor in the muck. Fortunately, they never saw me. If they had I might not be here with you today.
However, this doesn’t hold true in most balanced minds of the flesh. It was when I lost control due to my illness that they became powerful enough to take on physical form.
You will not have to worry about this in the first few hallways though. They hold the memories from Billy’s first few years of life. They are pleasant and peaceful. They were at a time when I was able to maintain my illness enough to still be in control here.”
The watcher then turned and opened the door. Behind it lay a long semi narrow hallway with about a fifteen foot high ceiling. Large windows lined both sides of the walls going down the hallway. The windows started about two foot from the ground and ended about two foot from the ceiling. With large darkly stained wooden framework surrounding them, they looked like something out of a southern mansion from the eighteen hundreds. Long thin silk blue colored drapes that stood open gently blew inward towards the hallway from every window. The doctor heard the sounds of children's laughter and birds singing as they do with the rising sun. On the floor lay scattered flower pedals streaming down the way. There also stood an assortment of children's toys here and there.
“This was Billy’s first year of life doctor and his most pleasant. Enjoy this hallway doctor for they only get worse from here.”
“But you said that you were in control until Billy turned five, did you not, and that each hallway contained a year of Billy’s memories? Putting those two together, one would have to assume, watcher, that Billy should have at least four of these pleasant hallways residing in his mind, should he not?”
“No doctor. If you remember earlier, I had told you that Billy’s mother was an alcoholic and his father was a drug user. Do you not remember this doctor? Truth be told, Billy’s life wasn’t all that great in his first year of existence. The reason it holds such pleasant memories is that he was too young to really be able to comprehend his surroundings as of yet. You have to remember also doctor that I was very young as well at this point. As I had told you before, watchers age about ten years for every human year. I was but about ten years of age here. I had only released Billy’s happy emotions at this point. I had myself not known anything of the bad emotions that would scream to be let loose in the near future. Now come doctor, walk this hallway with me.”
The doctor quickly noticed that each window was firmly closed and locked. Behind each window there was what appeared to be a video playing in full color with just enough sound to fill that space not spilling over to interfere with the next window. Most of the moving images only lasted but a few minutes then would stop and start over from the beginning again. They would play over and over again for all of eternity.
“Behind each window lives one of Billy’s memories doctor. As you’ve probably already noticed the windows are all shut tight and locked. They must always stay this way no matter how badly one on the other side might beg you to open it. For if you open a window you’ll let a memory escape out into the mind to roam freely. This isn’t a very good thing doctor. This is not permitted for many reasons.
While the memories are housed behind the windows they’re mere electrical impulses. These impulses create plasma projections onto the backside of the window pane permitting you to view them from the hallway. Should a window be breached these electrical impulses escape into the hallway to take physical forms of the flesh, thus being able to do actual physical damage to their surroundings.
I’m sure that the good memories that Billy has so few of would not intentionally try to do him harm should this happen. But accidents always have a way of happening doctor. Now the bad memories of Billy’s which he has so many of, would probably be a different story. They would take on hideous forms of the flesh and be hell bent on destruction. My guess is that they would first devastate Billy’s mind until he was a worthless pile of flesh and bone. Then they would attempt to chew their way through Billy’s head seeking an escape route into your world.”
“Watcher, you say that they would take physical form here inside Billy’s head. Should one ever escape out into my world they couldn’t possibly be able to do that much harm. They would be miniscule in size right?”
“That is wrong doctor. As I have told you time is different here, so is size relative to space needed. In your world they would instantly become the size of their pent up emotion becoming a true threat to your world’s surroundings surely. They also have no problems with your world’s atmosphere as a watcher does. They wouldn’t rot and decay as I would. They would exist until they were physically destroyed which would be no easy task.
Mans trouble in his evolution is that so far he only thinks merely in three dimensions. There is many more than that doctor. Many that I hope you will come to understand from your experiences here.”
They strolled down the hallway looking into the windows and the images they projected. Behind one window played an image of what must have been Billy’s mother’s face. She was holding him looking into his face smiling. She was pressing Billy’s mouth to her breast for feeding. Another image showed Billy being tucked into bed in his crib while his mother sang a soft sweat song promising quick sleep. Similar type videos played in all these windows lining both sides of this hall. Not nearly getting to the end of the hall the watcher stopped and turned around.
“Watcher, why are we leaving here? It’s so pleasant and soothing to my nerves. Can’t we just stay here a few moments longer please?”
“No doctor. Time grows short for me. There is much more that I need to show you. Walk with me so that I might make that possible.”
Just then it hit the doctor. He had asked for a few more moments in this hall. He was asking for time.
Time was something that still seemed to confuse him here. On one hand it had only seemed like a few seconds since he had stepped foot into Billy’s brain. On the other hand it seemed like days had gone by already.
“I’m mentally having trouble with time here watcher.”
“It is to be expected doctor. The eternal clock and the man made clock were never made to work together. Here you judge time by windows. There are only so many windows permitted in each hallway. If I end a hallway to soon then Billy ends up with wasted space in his mind causing memory lapses in the future. Should I allow more windows than a hallway was constructed for, stress becomes a factor. The wooden frames around the windows will rattle creating a possibility of stress cracks in the glass panes. As a watcher I must keep everything in balance here in Billy’s mind. A watchers job is a very difficult one when he is well. When he is sick it becomes almost impossible.”
The doctor looked at him still confused.
“As I told you before doctor, one hallway is equal to one of your flesh years. That is all you really need to know about time in reference to your world anyways.”
As they turned and began to walk back the way they had come the doctor continued with his questions.
“Tell me watcher, how does a watcher learn all this? Who teaches him what he needs to know?”
“There is no teacher doctor. A watcher is born with built in instincts. When it comes time for a watcher to know something new he just knows it. A watcher never knows anything new before he needs to know it. A watcher doesn’t have the urge to learn as a flesh being does. His life purpose is to do a job and only that job.
Let me elaborate for you doctor. As I mentioned just moments ago, a hallway contains only so many windows. When a hallway nears its ending point a watcher feels an instinct and closes it off and starts a new one. I didn’t know this at first. Only when I had to do it for the first time did it come to me to do so.
I also mentioned that if a hallway is closed too soon that it creates memory loss. This will happen, if it happens at all, when a watcher gets too old or becomes ill. He will start closing hallways way before their time creating many memory losses. This is what the people of your flesh world deem as the disease Alzheimer's. That’s why this takes place in your elderly years. Now you know the cause of this disease doctor. I regret to tell you that there is no cure for it however. You cannot cure a watcher within.
The only thing a watcher knows in advance is what he must do in the final hour. For some reason the watcher is born with this information. I believe it’s there just incase the infant dies at birth. That way the watcher knows how it is to be handled. It’s a lot like a janitor’s job at the end of a weekend basketball game. The custodians’ job is to go around and shut everything off. He cleans up the place, turns out the lights, and locks the doors. A watchers job is much the same meaning that when the body dies that the watcher exists in, he must close the final hallway. He then turns everything off including all the bodies’ physical senses as well as mental. Some things take a while to power down such as the person’s hair and nails; they continue to grow after death. They have been powered down but take awhile to respond fully. The watcher then flips the switch for the decaying and rotting to start. This returns the body back to the earth. The final job of the watcher is at last to alert the soul gatherers. They then come to gather the dead ones soul. The watcher sits and awaits retrieval with the soul.
A problem arises when the watcher dies before the body of the flesh in which he inhabits. When this happens, not only does the person go mentally insane but the soul retrievers aren’t notified for the pick up upon death of the body. This forces the soul to wander your world in limbo for all eternity creating what you call ghosts, spirits, etc. If you’ve noticed in most cases where they speak of ghosts and such, they say that they came from people who lived tormented lives. This is true because the lives they led were lives without a watcher for one reason or another. Mental devastation was inevitable, thus giving them a tormented life.”
Exiting the door that they had came through leading them into this hallway the watcher gazed around deciding on another door it seemed.
“Hallways two and three are relatively the same as the first. Let us now skip up to hallway four if we might doctor. In this hallway you will see mixed emotions, some being good, some bad and a mixture of both. At this point Billy was starting to grasp his surroundings much better and I had what I thought to be a good hold on his variety of emotions that were at my disposal. This will also be the last of the hallways in his mind that rest before my illness took a restraining hold over me.”
Walking to the door you could tell that the doctor was taking many mental notes as they went. He was very deep in thought, but not too deep to see that this door had a small vibration to it. There was also a small sliding latch lock that had been placed on it.
“Why the vibration and the lock on this door watcher?”
“The vibration is caused by inner turmoil and the small lock is merely a precaution. There isn’t a lot to actually fear from this hallway doctor. But you can never be too sure.”
Going through this door the doctor noted that it appeared at first glance a lot like the first hallway they had ventured down. But after closer examination he did spot differences. Some of the wooden frames had chips in them and had splintered. Some of the beautiful blowing curtains remained still to the window and were torn and stained. Some of the toys that lay sprawled on the floor were broken of damaged.
The birds no longer sang as cheerfully as the other hallway he also noticed.
As they walked down the hallway the doctor now realized that the watcher had spoken the truth. While there were still some soft comforting memories, there were many that held bad ones. The first of these that he came across was a very short one. It showed what appeared to be Billy’s mother’s hand slapping him across the face sending him sprawling across the room into a wall. This image went by quickly in what seemed to only take a few seconds. It played over and over again. The only audio was of the sound of the slap, undecipherable screaming, and the sound of Billy hitting the wall. The doctor also noticed that the sound in this window was a bit louder and tended to interfere with the next window somewhat.
The next window the doctor came across was very dark visually. Judging by the bottoms of hanging clothes Billy must’ve been hunkered down on the floor of a closet. The image vibrated as if Billy was trembling. The only audio was that of Billy’s soft sobbing and that of yelling and fighting which must’ve resonated beyond the closet door.
As the doctor started to walk away from this window the video changed. Billy turned towards the window pressing his hands and face onto the glass.
“Help me Mr. please. They’ve been fighting all day. I’m afraid they will hurt each other like they have before. When they grow tired of hurting one another they will hunt for me wanting to hurt me next. It always turns out this way. Please help me. Open the window and let me out there with you. I promise I’ll be good. I’ll do anything you ask of me. I’ve been in this closet now for a very long time. I’m hungry and tired. I just need to get away for a short time. I’ll go back in through the window when you ask me too. I just need a rest from the fear. Please Mr. please?”
The doctor stood in fear and pain. Being a professional man he was able to suppress his emotions to things like this most times. But there was just something about this that cut him to the bone. He fought to hold back a tear with no avail. It trickled from his eye and ran slowly down his cheek. Before he realized what he was actually doing his hand was moving slowly towards the window preparing to free Billy from his pain and fear if only for a few moments. Then he felt a hand on his shoulder and stopped.
“Doctor, no, don’t. I told you this would happen. You must not ever open any of the windows here… ever. No matter what you see or hear on the other side. These are memories that have already been played out in the past. Opening a window to them now would cause a backlash that would be unfixable in the future.”
The doctor froze in the position that he was in when the hand had touched him. He wanted to say to hell with the watcher and his rules. Didn’t the watcher have any compassion or emotions at all? There was a four year old boy behind that glass that needed his help. The doctor in his original world had been trying to help Billy Bean now for the past five years. Now he had an actual chance to free him up of some of his pain and the watcher was standing there telling him no. It took all the restraint the doctor possessed to hold back.
“Don’t you have any compassion or emotions at all watcher?”
“No doctor, I do not. It wouldn’t be good if watchers had those things. The human race would’ve died off a very long time ago.”
Just then the closet door in the video ripped open and Billy turned from the window as he was grabbed from the closet and thrown across the room. Billy screamed for them to please stop, then the video went black and started all over once more.
The doctor shook off what seemed to be an instant chill that had run down his spine and they moved on.
The doctor glanced back once or twice not being able to totally shake what he just saw so easily as the watcher apparently had. There were some good memories in this hallway however. He spotted one of what appeared to be Billy sitting at a table eating cookies and drinking a tall glass of milk as he sang a nursery rhyme. There was another of him playing in the park with what was probably his dog. He would throw the stick and the dog would run off to retrieve it bringing it back to Billy wagging his tail. This went on over and over in this window. This was a good memory for a four year old boy to have the doctor thought. Then he gazed down the hall farther and became confused again to the point of stopping this time.
“Watcher, am I seeing this clearly? I believe I see a window down the hall on the left hand side that has boards nailed over it. Can this be true?”
“Yes doctor. I did that many years ago myself.”
“Why would you do such a thing and where would you find the supplies to do it with?”
“When the supplies were needed they became readily available. Just like knowledge doctor. When supplies aren’t needed they are no where to be found. As for why I did that to this particular window, is because what played behind it was very disturbing. In fact it was the worst of this hallway’s memories. The window shock violently at times and I was afraid of it cracking then spreading out to infect Billy’s other memories in this hall. Seeing how Billy has so few good memories, I didn’t want to risk any of them being soiled.”
The doctor approached this window with caution. He found that he could see very little of what played behind it. His view was mostly obscured by the wooden boards that had been nailed across its surface. What he could see was that of extreme motion. Nothing seemed to stay in place long enough for the doctor to fix his eyes on it long enough to describe it. When it reached what must’ve been the end of the memory blood ran down the inside of the window pane and it all started all over again. The audio was just as bad. What wasn’t clouded by static seemed to be a mixture of boggled screams.
“This is what doctors in your field would call a suppressed memory doctor. As I mentioned prior, due to its nature I had no choice but to suppress it by boarding it up.”
“What is going on behind these boards watcher?”
“I cannot tell you that doctor. Nor can I ever remove these boards. Either would be damaging to Billy.”
With this being said they turned from this window and started back the way they had come. As they left this hallway the watcher gestured for the doctor to follow him once more. This time they moved across the large domed room heading for the other side. As they passed the chair in the middle of the room they paused for a second as if the watcher need to catch his breathe.
“You are very sick aren’t you watcher?”
“Yes doctor. I’m afraid my time grows very close.”
“What happens to you when you die watcher? Will you be nailed to the restless soul of Billy that will one day haunt this earth due to the fact that he will not be shut down properly?”
“This I do not know doctor. I suppose that knowledge will come to me when I am in need of it like always. Not having any emotions or feelings of my own, I don’t fear it happening like humans would.”
While they were standing by the chair the doctor thought of another question regarding its presence.
“You said that you sit in this chair to be able to watch and hear Billy’s world. From there you are able to pick the proper emotions needed for the circumstances?”
“Yes doctor. Sitting in the chair activates this power. However, you would find it very difficult to control
I believe. That is why I asked you not to sit very long when you sat before. Not having any emotions myself I can sit there with a clear and pure mind. You would probably have the problem of your minds thoughts and emotions interfering with your judgments for Billy. As you can see there are no switches or levers here. You control everything with your mind when in the seat. You would need to have a totally clear mind when operating it. Do you understand doctor?”
“Yes I believe I do watcher.”
They rested there for a few more moments before continuing to walk across the room towards yet another door.
“Which door do you take me to now watcher?”
“This is the hallway of Billy’s fifth year. This is the year that I lost control of my illness and went unconscious for quite some time. Much went on during that year while I was away. Had I been given a choice, I never would’ve gone unconscious. However, it was the only solution that came to me for the problem that I faced at the time.
As you may have noticed this door is locked shut as the one before. However, this one has a large piece of wood lain across the door in these two iron brackets. This large padlock secures it. If you didn’t notice before at the other door, I do carry a large key ring with me. The keys control the locks on the doors and other locks throughout.
I ask you now before we enter that you prepare for the worst here. From this point on the hallways can become dangerous as well. There are emotions that have taken physical form and seek nothing else but to do harm. If you don’t wish to continue I’ll understand doctor. However, it will disappoint me. I feel you’re a better man than that.”
“No watcher. I will not stop now. I don’t know about being a good or strong man for that matter, but I am a man of science. I have searched for answers all my life. You have shown me more while I’ve been here than I have learned in my entire lifetime I believe. I’m not ready for it to be over just yet. I think there is much more to learn here. I feel the need to continue to help Billy as well.”
With this the watcher bowed his head in silence acknowledging the doctors convictions. He then unlocked the door and swung it wide open. Instantly, echoes of screams escape the room with a furious blast of stench. The doctor hesitated for a moment then entered this hallway.
This hallway still held traces of what the first couple looked like. But it had changed even more drastically than the second one had. Screams echoed this hallway. The hallway itself rocked slightly from side to side. Windows with their torn and shredded curtains were soaked in blood that dripped down the walls. Dried puddles of caked up blood sat beneath every window. The broken toys on the floor even had blood on them. There were also rats running in this hall. This is the first time he saw them since they entered through that back passageway at the beginning. Some carried bones from only God knew where in there large sharp teeth as they ran past. The walls and ceiling also were covered in between every window with wires, tubes and pipes like that back hallway had been.
“What are the wires, tubes, and pipes for here watcher? Also, I see no boarded up windows as the one in the last hallway. If this room is so bad then I would expect that you would’ve boarded most of these windows up a long time ago.”
“The wires and such are here to control the pressurized seals that have been put on these windows. Boards would not have secured them enough. As for not boarding the windows up to make these memories recessed to Billy that is an answer in itself.
Billy visits this hallway in his thoughts more than any other in his mind. He ventures back here almost daily. I believe that he is searching for something or some kind of answer. If I were to board over these windows he wouldn’t be able to find what he might be looking for. He also would not be able to cope with any of the rest of his memories saved after this hallway. He would have unanswered questions as to why he is imprisoned. Why does he feel the deep depression that he feels daily? Questions like that. So doctor, you see, I had no choice but to leave these windows uncovered for Billy’s sake. Don’t let the pressurized system fool you into a sense of security though doctor. They hold much stronger than boards do but they can still be breached with effort. I had to put this system in when I noticed in one of the windows that Billy had a flat head screw driver and was on the other side trying his best to pry it open. Had I not stopped him he would’ve escaped that memory and became a physical form of the flesh to run the hallways of his own mind forever.”
Walking this hallway the videos were of a much different topic; such anger, such hate, such wastefulness of human life. Many of these videos showed scenes of murder. The first of these was of Billy at the age of five with a large butcher knife in his hand stabbing his father in the stomach while he lay asleep on the couch. You couldn’t tell where the video ended and where it began a new. It was the same emotionless movement over and over.
His mothers’ murder was the same in that fact. It showed Billy with no expression at all standing by the tub while his mother laying in her bath jerked violently non stop. An electric hair dryer still plugged in bobbed in the tub with her, barely visible. All seventy-three murders were shown this way. No reason behind them was explained in the video prior to their happening. No circumstances explained or shown afterward, just the actual acts of murder shown in these windows over and over again.
The doctor leaning against the wall pulled himself away. Looking at his blood covered hand he realized that he must’ve been holding onto one of the draping torn blood drenched curtains. He bent over grabbing his knees to vomit but nothing came out. The watcher stood over the doctor emotionless not saying a word. Finally breaking the silence the watcher spoke.
“We must forge ahead doctor. With each foot fall I feel myself getting weaker now.”
They traced their footsteps out of the hall of murder that made up Billy’s fifth year of life. They found themselves in the large domed room once more. This time they didn’t go straight across the room to another door like they had last time. This time they went more towards the right finding a door that seemed to be set at an angle.
“I must again warn you doctor. All the rest of these halls are even more twisted than the last. Some of them make little to no sense at all. They are no longer straight and easily remembered like the others. You’ll find that these halls jet off at bizarre angles and fork into many directions. They are very misleading at times as well. A lot of what you see in the windows will make little to no sense to you.
Many of them have made no sense to me either over the years and I’m his watcher.”
With this being said the watcher opened the door leading into a new hall. This hall was the worst thus far.
“What year is this watcher that you paint into my memories?”
“This is Billy’s eighteenth year doctor. This is when they moved him into an adult prison. Before this he had been moved from one juvenile jail to another for a total of six if I remember right. But this is when he hit the big time.”
“His records were not really all there for one reason or another watcher. Apparently they had been lost through the cracks over the years. I never really knew what happened to him before he ended up here in this mental hospital. So you’re telling me it took the authorities this long before they actually figured out that Billy was a mental patient rather than a criminal?”
“Yes doctor… both Billy and I have had a very hard road. He has both seen and done much that he never should’ve been put through to start with.”
The doctor’s head dropped into his hands covering his eyes. It stayed there for a few moments in disbelief.
“Shall we go on doctor?”
The doctor didn’t answer. He just removed his head from his hands and started forward into the new hall. Pulling his shirt up over his mouth and nose he tried to smother out the rancid smell that projected from down the hall. His eyes moved from side to side only wanting to look briefly at what was to be seen.
“Here doctor, this window.”
The doctor moved over to the window meant by the watcher and gazed in.
“This is Billy Bean’s first sexual experience doctor. It happened the very first night he was incarcerated here. Before this Billy had no thought of sex at all. Not even to the point of ever touching himself while alone. This was all totally new to him.”
The window was smeared with sweet. You could almost smell it creeping through the glass pane. It was an image of Billy laying face down on the edge of a bunk being man handled by four very large men.
Two were holding him down while one lay rhythmically moving on Billy’s backside and the fourth was holding both sides of Billy’s head, face first, against his manhood force feeding him. It was a horrible sight to have to witness and it played over and over again in the window.
“This went on for many years doctor. Not always the same men but pretty much the same thing. He was traded to other convicts for favors and cigarettes and the like. At the beginning I tried triggering his anger emotions in hopes that he would defend himself but that never worked. There were always too many of them and Billy would take a beating on top of the sexual abuse. After a while I stopped the anger emotions and triggered an emotion in Billy that I call numbness. It helped take him far away in his mind. This seemed to help some I believe but not always. Some of the rapists would beat him until he showed anger. This must’ve been what they needed to help drive their sexual impulses. Then I had no choice, of course, but to let the emotion of anger take Billy over once more. This saved him the beating”
“I never would’ve pictured any of this. Not that I don’t know that things like this go on in places like that, but that Billy had been in a place like this and had to endure them.”
“Billy did get even once doctor. Would you like to see that window?”
“No thank you watcher. I have an idea of what happened. Maybe at another time please.”
“That is your choice to make doctor. However, it was one of the few times in Billy’s life that he actually got to feel good about himself. The problem was that he did get caught and received six months in the hole in solitary confinement. This stopped the raping from the inmates of course. After what he did to that man no other man wanted to risk such a fate there after. Maybe you’ll wish to look at it another time though. Again, the choice is yours to make doctor.”
The doctor was starring down the hall now. He noticed that some of the windows that apparently had had boards on them were now exposed. They had boards lying at the sides of the walls below them. Had they been this way when he entered this hall? They must’ve been because he would’ve heard the old rusty nails being pried from the now semi rotting wooden frames that surround the dirty glass.
“Watcher, there are boards at the bottoms of the windows on the floor. Have they fallen off or have they been removed? If they’ve been removed then by whom?”
“I come across this from time to time doctor. It was one of the beasts of the flesh that I’ve warned you about that run freely in Billy’s mind. They remove the boards in hopes of weakening the window structures. They do this in an effort to unleash others such as themselves into Billy’s mind. Alone they are snipers of a sort to be dealt with or avoided. Many of them together would make up an army that would be unavoidable and impossible to deal with in here.”
“Do you think the creature is still in here watcher?”
“Its possible doctor but I doubt it.”
“How would the creature escape this hall having the door locked from the outside?”
“I have found tunnels that they have dug in Billy’s mind that lead from hallway to hallway. Never underestimate them doctor. They are capable of much and should be considered very intelligent even though Billy isn’t.”
“Will you fix these windows watcher?”
“No doctor… you will.”
“I’m afraid you lost me again watcher. What do you mean I will? Do you mean by some sort of treatment for Billy?”
“No doctor… you will nail them back into place over time as I have before you. You’ll never have to worry about them raising the windows or breaking the glass from the windows. For some reason they cannot do this. I have watched them try before and it’s like they are safe guarded from them for some reason. I believe it’s because a memory cannot tamper with another memory. The same as one day cannot over lap another. But the boards must be replaced.”
Fear started to run rapid in the doctor’s mind now. What was the watcher talking about? The doctor had no time to run up and down each of these hallways making physical repairs to Billy’s mental state of mind. He had many things to do in the real world now that he had all this knowledge. He decided to start back towards the doorway that led him into this hall when the watcher blocked his pathway.
“I have no easy way of telling you this doctor, but I must nonetheless. As I’ve told you before… I’m dying. When I die, then Billy is left without a watcher to keep the balance for him. He will become totally insane at that point. There will be no one here to shut everything down upon his demise. Therefore the soul retrievers will not come. Billy’s world will become a never ending chamber of horrors for all eternity. I cannot let this happen. That is why I sot to bring you in here to start with doctor. You were the only one in his world that has ever truly cared for him, that I’ve seen anyways. I had no choice but to pick you to take my place.”
With this being out in the open now the doctor fell to his knees sobbing like a baby. Had he known this, he never would’ve came into this place. Now he was trapped here forever. Then a thought came to his mind and he spoke almost quicker than his lips would release the words.
“But the black puzzle watcher. Someone will break into my office in time and find it. They will after many experiments as I did, eventually enter and find me here waiting for them. Providing that I don’t find that hidden door before that.”
“That will be impossible doctor.”
The watcher produced from his pocket a single piece of the black puzzle and held it before the doctor crushing it into an unfixable mess. The doctors eyes followed as the fragment of pieces fell from the watchers hand to the ground below. The watcher, as if it was really needed, then took his boot and crushed them into the ground on which they stood. Over kill the doctor thought but very effective indeed when it came to crushing his hopes.
“After we entered the hidden hallway through the portal of the black puzzle I reached back up and removed this piece from the puzzle. You were distracted by your new surroundings remember? When I pulled this piece from the puzzle the portal closed becoming a mere puzzle consisting of a solid image of black with one piece missing. Sorry doctor… I really am… but I had no choice. You’ll see this over time I’m sure. You’re a man of immense education and shouldn’t have an impossible time here. You might even begin to like it once you figure things out for yourself. If not, then at least it’s not the worst life you could’ve had out of all the many variations. After all, you could’ve been Billy Bean.”
“But if I’m stuck here now inside Billy’s head then that means that I am Billy Bean.”
“I see you have learned nothing doctor. Either that or your under a lot of stress and it’s clouding your judgment of the situation. Let’s hope for the latter for your sake. I haven’t enough time left to go back over everything with you again.”
“But I… but... you can’t... I mean…”
“Sorry to interrupt you doctor but my time has come. I’m afraid that I must leave you now. It’s dying time. Unlike if I were to die out in your world of flesh I will not implode here creating another portal. I will merely collapse. I don’t believe that I will rot here either. It’s up to you what you choose to do with my body. I’m not sure if you’ll need to feed while in here doctor. You might want to store my carcass someplace of convenience for future consumption. Again, the choice is yours doctor.”
The doctor was speechless at this point. One moment he was doing the research of his life and then in an instant he became his research. The doctor watched as the watcher bent and sat on the floor of the hallway. The watcher removed his mirror shaded sun glasses that were until now wrapping all the way around his head in a perfect ring. He had what appeared to be eight eyes with two on every side of his head. No wander he never had to turn his head the doctor now realized. Nothing spectacular happened to the watcher after this. In a way the doctor felt cheated. He had fully expected to see light fly from the watchers eyes or see him explode into brilliant flecks of light or something like what you might read in a horror story or something of the like, but it didn’t happen. The watcher simply fell over from the sitting position to rest on his side on the cold damp floor of the screaming hallway.
The doctor stood paralyzed in indecision. Then he noticed some sort of figure approaching him from down the hallway. However, it wasn’t walking on the floor like the watcher and he had been but rather crawling like a spider on all four of its limbs across the side of the wall. It had now apparently seen him as well, because it started to pick up the pace of its advance.
No one had to tell the doctor to run. This much he knew for himself. He was just making it back to the doorway that locked out this hallway when he remembered that he hadn’t grabbed the watchers key ring. It was too late now, however. He would have to try to lose this thing that pursued him. Just then he heard the sounds of what seemed to be a large melon being mauled. The doctor turned briefly to see that the creature had stopped beside the watchers now dead body and had begun ripping into it. It was pulling guts out now by the fistful and devouring them as fast as it could swallow. The doctor did notice though that the beast never took its eyes from the doctor. It must’ve had him in mind for its desert.
The doctor saw that the watchers key ring had been knocked loose from his now torn out mid section and had been slid by no intention of the beast or watcher, midway between the doctor and the feast. Should he try for them or get the hell out of Dodge? The doctor stood there for a moment calculating the risk then he tore off back down the hallway towards the keys. What other choice did he have really? He could’ve left the hallway but he never could’ve locked the door holding the beast at bay. Then he had little other choices for other hallway escapes seeing how mostly all the other hallways had been locked down as well. The keys were his only hope he realized. With this, he ran the Olympic sprint of his life. As he was running he thought just for a moment that had he really been running in an Olympic contest he surely would’ve won the gold. His feet seemed like they never touched the ground as he raced down the hallway like a pure bred stallion. This must’ve been the adrenalin flowing through his veins. The doctor was no fool. Being in his fifties, he never would’ve thought such a pace would be possible.
Getting close to the keys now, he slid to his knees in hopes to be able to grab them and turn at the same time, thus being able to bolt back to his feet and be gone like grease lightning. One thing the doctor didn’t take into consideration, however, was the fact that the floor would be slippery now with the watchers guts splayed all over it like cheap tile. These were the same guts that the doctor now at this range was able to see had splattered all over the walls and ceiling as well. This beast had made a real mess of the watcher. Grabbing the keys on the slide, the doctor continued to slide forward rather than being able to turn back. He was now sliding feet first kicking for any purchase that might be had. His eyes never left the beast and the beasts eyes never left him. They were locked in a stare of either survival or sure death depending on which eyes you rested behind.
This monster was hideous. Never in the doctors’ wildest imagination would he have ever pictured anything like it before. Somehow it’s perfectly shaped round head seemed to be all mouth. Its eyes were held to its head by what appeared to be just a few strands of muscle that protruded from the sides of its head. There were two small holes at the very top of the head that must’ve been the nose holes. If the thing needed to breathe that is. Apparently it needed to feed because it had made very short work of the watcher. Either that or it had just done it out of evilness. Who was to say really? But the entire rest of the head was just one large mouth. Its teeth must’ve been at least four inches long and jagged sharp looking.
Its body was similar to a human, in the fact that it had but only two arms and two legs. Its body structure was similar also but with a few differences. Its flesh was like a charcoal gray in color and wasn’t smooth like a humans would be. It was rough appearing with parts of it misshapen and damaged. Also judging by the now close up look the doctor was getting, it looked as though it might be twice the size of any normal human. At least the arms and legs seemed to be twice the normal length for the size of the body anyways. It wasn’t an inviting figure to say the least.
Just as the doctor was about to loose hope, his feet found some kind of foothold and he stopped just short of the thing. If this is what anger looked like in its physical form then anger was really an ugly emotion indeed he thought. The doctor now made his retreat the best he could. As he was running back towards the door he looked over his shoulder to peer back and saw the beast torn between the watchers flesh pile and him. This would surely give the doctor enough of a head start to make his escape. He even felt he was running faster now than he had run going towards the keys to start with.
Just as he reaches the door he felt the presence of the beast on his backside.
Just as the doctor was all but one leg out the door he felt something grab his lower left ankle. Then he felt the pain of misfortune. Freeing his leg, he pulled it through the door and slammed it shut locking it behind him. Now having the time to look over the damage he saw that the beast had taken a bite the size of a baseball from his calf muscle. It was bleeding profusely and the pain was gut wrenchingly morbid.
The door that he now leaned on for support was banging to save the band. He only hoped that it would hold. For if this beast could do this with just one bite then what chance did the poor doctor have going toe to toe with it. The door did seem to be holding, for now anyways, so the doctor hobbled over to the chair that rested in the middle of the domed room. Sitting in the chair the monitors lit up and the speakers began to play. This startles the doctor at first. He had forgotten about the seat being a trigger mechanism for Billy’s emotional senses.
Not really looking at the monitors he did his best to cut off the bleeding, however, hearing his name mentioned over the speakers made him look up to see what was going on in Billy’s world.
***
“It’s a real shame about Dr. Van Hoesenburgh III. It’s going on four months now since we found him on his couch in his office. What do you think caused him to lapse into the coma doctor?”
“One can never be sure Betty. We can only monitor his daily results and hope for the best. He seems to be stable so far. I’ve wanted a position here for some time now but never would’ve dreamt that I would’ve gotten it this way.”
“Well Dr. Tellman, things happen for reasons I believe. So you’ll be taking over all of Dr. Van Hoesenburgh III’s patients then I hear, correct?”
“Yes Betty I will. I’ve been going through his files and would like to start with this patient Billy Bean. It seems to be a very interesting case. If you would assist me here nurse I would like to get started right away.”
They both stood gazing over Billy’s still body while he lay motionless in his bed starring quietly. It was a simplified padded room with little to nothing to look at or do. There were, however, a few small children's toys scattered here and there on the floor but nothing that he could harm himself or others with though.
“One thing though nurse, you’ll probably see right away that my methods of treatment will be somewhat different than Mr. Hoesenburgh’s. He seemed to coddle his patients. I prefer a much more direct approach. If you haven’t worked around these types of methods before you might think them a bit medieval at first, maybe even brutal or inhumane. But I assure you Betty that they get results much quicker than those of coddling would ever achieve.”
Betty, being a nurse here now for over fourteen years saw a lot of different doctors with different types of treatments. She thought nothing the new doctor did could possibly be any different. She simply nodded and stood by his side awaiting his orders.
***
Just then Dr. Hoesenburgh heard a voice come from the darkness to his right.
“You’ll probably bleed to death doctor from that wound. You’ll then be damned like all the rest of us here.”
The doctor jumped to his feet the best he could manage considering his leg, and then hobbled back a step expecting the worst.
“Who are you beast? Show yourself that I might see the one that wishes to do me harm before I’m killed.”
“I will not kill you doctor. I probably couldn’t kill a fly. I know I couldn’t catch one. My name is Bovo.
I’m Billy’s self esteem in flesh form.”
This being said, a very small figure wobbled from out of the darkness. It had to stand no more than a foot and a half tall and about the same size wide. It seemed to hold towards a human form somewhat. It looked like layers overlapping layers of flab. It was a grayish blue in color with dark blotches all over its body. Its voice sounded like bubbling or gurgling. Almost as if someone were trying to talk under water.
It wobbled as it walked seeming to almost tumble and threaten to roll with every step. It held its head low peering up with its eyes in a shy manner. He realized that this beast was of no harm to him so the doctor relaxed and sat on the floor rather than the seat. This way he could better greet this new comer while not being distracted by Billy’s world outside, should he have remained in the chair.
As the figure approach even closer, the doctor found himself at a loss for words so remained quiet for the time being. The figure named Bova spoke again.
“So you’re the man the watcher has been preparing for over the past several years I take it?”
“I guess so Bova. I only wish that I would’ve known this before I entered here.”
“Where is the watcher at now doctor?”
When the doctor didn’t answer right away Bova seemed to sag even lower than what he already was to the ground. He put his head down and his hands behind his back. He started slowly kicking something on the ground back and forth in front of him that wasn’t there. Then he murmured something that was barely audible.
“The watcher is dead isn’t he, just like you’ll probably be soon enough? We’re all damned here… all damned.”
The doctor felt pity for this small thing and felt he should try to comfort it in some way.
“No Bovo, I’ll live and keep you company for a long time to come. You’ll see.”
“No you won’t doctor. You’ll die and leave me alone here just like the watcher has done. You should never have come here. This is a place for the damned. You’ll see… damned… all damned.”
The doctor saw now why Billy wasn’t an outgoing type person. Why he seemed to have very little self esteem. Not knowing how to respond to end this depressing circle that Bova seemed content in going in, the doctor rose to his feet once more and moved back to the seat. Sitting in it once again triggered the monitors and sound system.
***
“I see that you refuse to respond to me Billy.” Doctor Tellman said while looking over Billy’s charts.
“It’s been four days now with no results doctor. What do you plan to do next?”
“Well Betty, I think we need to start taking a more direct approach like I spoke of before. I was hoping not to have to do such things but it seems that we have no choice. We have to get Billy to respond if we ever hope to be able to treat him.”
***
Just then Dr. Hoesenburgh had a shooting pain run up his leg from the wound and anger shot through his mind from the predicament that he was in. However, the doctor didn’t realize that this would trigger the same emotion in Billy. He had forgotten that he controlled Billy’s emotions through his own while he sat in the chair. This prompted Billy to rise from the bed in a fit of rage and attack Dr. Tellman. The doctor and nurse managed to subdue Billy and restrain him.
***
“Oh, now you respond do you Bill? The only problem is that you’re responding in the wrong way. We must make some adjustments here I see. We will have to calm you down some if we wish to be able to deal with you. I can’t possibly even hope to start to make you better if you go and attack me out of the blue like this. It’s a real shame Billy. I had hoped to be able to avoid this road of treatment, at least for awhile anyways.”
Doctor Tellman looked at the nurse and with a strong conviction and barked out his next order.
“Nurse, prepare Billy here for his first shock treatment. This should calm him down some and make him manageable. I would hope anyway.”
“Yes doctor, right away.”
Betty saw this treatment used a few times before. It did seem to calm the violent ones down making them more manageable. The trouble was that before this, Billy had never been known to attack a doctor or nurse before. Oh well, an order was an order she thought and I have to do my job if I want my paycheck at the end of the week. Betty left the room to get the instruments needed for Billy’s first shock treatment.
***
“You’ve really done it now doctor. I’ve heard rumors of what shock treatments do to places like our surroundings. Billy’s mind will be fried and so will we. You’ve damned us for sure. Damned, we’re all damned.”
Getting back up from the chair the doctor was shocked at what he had just allowed himself to do. He had not meant to do it of course. But it had been done nonetheless. Now he must begin to prepare for the inevitable. What other choice did he have?
“Bovo, is there a way we can better secure Billy’s mind from what is to come? Is there a place we can hide and be safe until it’s over? Help me Bovo, please.”
“I’m not a watcher doctor. You’re the new watcher here. You should know these things. I have no idea nor do I want to know. I would probably only screw things up worse. We’re damned doctor, all damned.”
With this Bovo began to wobble away as fast as his fat little legs would carry him. Reaching a wall he disappeared into it. There must’ve been another hidden passageway there the doctor thought. Finding his way to the same spot the doctor searched for it himself. After some time he did find it but it was way too small to accommodate his much larger figure. Bovo was gone, and with him any kind of help that he might’ve been able to provide. The doctor slid down the wall on his back until his bottom hit the ground.
There he sat trying to make heads or tails of his dire situation. That’s when the lightning began to light up the large domed room.
The dark gloomy room was now a display of blue and white streaks. Most of them rippled around the top of the dome but some strayed wildly and much lower. The doctor was able to see now just how large this room really was. There had to be over a million wires, tubes and pipes everywhere on the walls and ceiling. Many of which began to become severed and ruptured. The cut wires started to produce there own loose electric flow. The ruptured pipes and tubes leaked fluids of different colors and consistency everywhere. The room began to slowly fill up with these mixed fluids. They were already maybe a half inch deep on the floor and rising. What was the doctor to do, or better yet, what had he already done.
The doctor now began to hear glass shatter. The windows that held back Billy’s memories were being broken by the electric bolts that surged through his mind from the shock treatment. It wouldn’t be long before many of these memories stepped through the broken glass out into Billy’s mind and became a creature of the flesh. There would be an army of them very shortly. There was nothing the doctor could do about it. He only hoped to be able to survive it somehow. Then the alarms began to sound and with them what seemed to be a mechanical recorded set of verbal warnings.
***
The current existing hallway is damaged beyond repair. It must be shut down. A new one must be started immediately to house the memories.
Damage to hallways three, eight, twelve, sixteen, twenty three, twenty five and thirty one is reaching dangerous levels. Repairs must be made immediately.
There are breaches in eight hundred and fifty six windows. The system is unable to contain memories. Secure all hallway doors immediately.
***
The warnings kept sounding out one after another. They even started to overlap each other. This gave the doctor an instant headache. He couldn’t do anything that these warning messages needed him to do accept maybe check the hallway doors over to make sure they were locked and secured properly. He began to fish into his pocket for the key ring when the domed room began to shake violently. The lightning that had been surging through the room had seemed to more than double, doing unspeakable damage to his surroundings. Many of the warnings were now malfunctioning becoming mere crackled static.
The doctor began to hobble his way back to the chair that sat in the middle of the room. He knew he had to check the doors, but he wanted to see what was going on in Billy’s world first. Maybe he could do something to stop all this.
Sitting in the chair the monitors and sound system fired back up. The sound was all crackled and the view in the monitors was violently shaking so much that the doctor couldn’t fix his eyes on any one object. Trying his best to think of a plan he heard several large thud sounds from around the room followed by many more. As the doctor looked around the room he saw that the doors too many of the hallways had be ripped from there hinges, locks and all. Creatures of all shapes and sizes emerged from the damaged hallways spilling out into the large domed room. It looked like trick-or-treat in hell.
The doctor having no place to retreat simply curled into a ball in the chair and began to pray. It didn’t take long for the beasts to reach him and begin ripping him apart. They started by drawing and quartering him ripping his arms and legs slowly off. Other beast standing at the ready were reaching into the holes where his limbs had been attached pulling out large gobs of guts to their waiting mouths. While yet others hovered over him not using their claws but their mouths. They were diving into his soft mid section teeth first. They pulled out large strands of intestines and other important internal organs. The doctor could do nothing but lay there and scream in both pain and sheer horror at what had befallen him. As the doctor died, so did his actual body in the world of flesh. Then the lightning and room shaking stopped.
***
“See nurse, Billy seems to be much more controllable now. We should be able to start him on the road to recovery. I know this method of treatment might seem harsh but it was for the best. Trust me, I’m a doctor.”
***
Somewhere in a small hidden dark damp smelly tunnel in the back of Billy Bean’s mind sat a small flabby creature by the name of Bovo. He sat there shaking and curled into a tight ball murmuring the same thing over and over. It was barely audible, but if you were close enough you might be able to hear him saying:
“Damned… we’re all damned here… every last one… damned.
THE END