Stupid Aliens
© Alexei Russell

Sally sat on her bed, trying to keep her mind still.  She didn't want to think about anything too hard, because it may become a reality.  She had the power to alter reality, if she thought about it hard enough--and she hated it!  She wished she didn't have this power; she'd never asked for it in the first place--it was a gift.  A gift she should have refused, but she hadn't been paying attention, when she accepted it.  All she had been thinking of, at that time, was getting rid of her troublesome guests as quickly as possible.

She often recalled to mind what it was like, on the nights when they would come.  The little men, with the massive heads and jet black eyes.  She had seen aliens in movies, and was surprised to learn that they looked exactly as they did in the movies--except that they were yellow, not grey.  They were so yellow, they glowed in the dark.

She would hear the high-pitched whirring, in the dead of night, and she would get up out of bed and peek out the window of her attic bedroom.  She always saw the same thing--the little people, florescent yellow against the backdrop of the night, darting back and forth across the lawn, weaving their way to her house.  The first time she saw this it terrified her and she hid under her bed, whimpering.  But, over time, the aliens became her friends and they'd spend hours, every night, talking and playing games.

Sally would ask them endless questions about their home, their lives, their spaceship, and they'd answer her telepathically--a clean, crisp voice, speaking english in her head.  In turn, she'd tell them about anything they asked about: earth, her life, her family; the names of countries and capital cities; what her pet cat liked to eat and what a cat litter box was for; the multiplication tables, how to do long division or anything else she knew about. 

One night, when they asked her about the reasons why the capitalistic economic model is so popular with human beings, Sally was stumped.  She didn't know much about economics.  The only time she had learned anything about how finance worked was when she'd played the Monopoly board game with her family.  She took out the game and tried to teach the aliens how to play. 

At first, the aliens couldn't grasp the purpose of the game.  They didn't understand the logic of everyone competing with each other, rather than cooperating--surely that is detrimental to all players, when compared to the far greater communal benefits elicited by mutual cooperation, they would say.  With time, they began to understand the intricacies of the game and would repeat the word "fascinating" over and over again until it rang in Sally's head like an endless, maddening echo.  Soon Sally found she could not last even one rotation around the board before the half-dozen aliens--utilizing far superior mental abilities--would effectively bankrupt her.

It got to the point that the aliens would arrive and immediately take out the board game.  Sally was tired of it--she was always invited to play, but she was always bankrupt within five minutes.  Then she would need to sit on her bed, arms crossed in vexation, as the word "fascinating" echoed in her head.  One night, Sally snapped.

"Shutup!  Shutup!  If all you want to do is play games then go do it on your spaceship!  I'm tired of it!"

The aliens appeared shocked and confused.  But it didn't take long for their quick brains to understand the situation.

"Of course," came an alien voice, "we'll play it in the ship.  If you would please let us borrow this gaming device, we would be grateful.  We'll give you a gift in exchange--just until we return the game, that is.  We'll give you the power to alter reality."

"Fine!" snapped Sally, anxious to get rid of the aliens.  They packed up the game and flew out the window, towards their spaceship.

It had been a month now, since the aliens borrowed her board game, and Sally had spent every waking moment, since then, trying not to alter reality.  The morning after the aliens left, she had accidentally turned her bed into a four-poster princess bed, and brought her teddy bear to life.  As much as she'd always wanted such a bed and wished her teddy could talk to her, she quickly realized that these things were more desirable as wishes then they were as a reality.

These granted wishes only served to terrify Sally: the power terrified her; the fact she couldn't control it; the thought of how she'd explain her bed and teddy to her parents; the thought of bringing bad things to life, like the monster she'd always imagined lived in the crawl-space.  She found this new world, where anything could happen--where any oddity could become reality--disturbing and terrifying.  The world had once been ordered and predictable, but now it was a daily battle against chaos and anarchistic alterations to the fabric of reality.  She had been hiding her bed and her walking, talking teddy bear from her parents for a month already, and she was wracked with stress.  It was lucky for Sally that it was her summer holidays--she dreaded the thought of trying to do her schoolwork, while simultaneously trying to think of nothing.  But, her holidays were nearly over, and the aliens had not returned yet.

Then the whirring came.  Sally bolted over to the window, and saw the little yellow people darting back and forth, across the lawn.  Soon the aliens were in her room, carrying her board game.

"Thank you, Sally.  We've completed our research concerning this game.  We've gleaned much information on human motivations and predilections, concerning competitive economic models."

Sally snatched the game out of the alien's hands and shouted.

"Take your gift back!  I don't want to alter reality!  You stupid aliens!  You've ruined my summer holidays!" 

The aliens were taken aback.  With all their superior intelligence, they were unable to understand Sally's reaction.   Sally pulled a pillowcase out from under her bed, which was tied shut with a string.  She untied it, shook out the contents, and her teddy fell out, alive and blinking.  She pointed at the living teddy and her beautiful princess bed, as the aliens stared in bewilderment.

"Change them back!  Now!"

The aliens complied, and soon the bed was normal again, the teddy limp and lifeless.  Sally grabbed her board game and threw it under her mattress, sitting on top of it, as if to keep it out of the clutches of these pesky aliens.

"Now get out of here!  Don't come back!"  The aliens looked at one another in confusion. 

"Pardon me, Sally, but we don't understand your emotional reaction.  Are powers of reality-alteration odious to humans?"

"Get out!" shouted Sally, "You ruined my summer, you jerks!"

The aliens stared for a minute, but soon gave up trying to understand.  They followed Sally's command and made for their ship.

"Stupid aliens." Sally whispered, as she lay down in bed.

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Alexei Russell is an emerging writer living in Winnipeg, Canada. A believer in the maxim that a writer should try his hand at all genres, he has conquered all themes and genres, apart from Westerns--which he will get around to eventually. Alexei has upcoming publications with The Piker Press and Static Movement. View his website, at http://alexei-m-russell.tripod.com/, for a few free samples of his work, including original audio stories.