Turbulence over Tampa

© Matthew Dexter

 I knew the aircraft was going down as soon as the cabin lights began flickering and the oxygen masks dropped from the overhead compartments. We had been experiencing mild turbulence the entire flight, but it quickly deteriorated from moderate to severe as we entered the Florida jet stream and the unexpected cluster of thunderstorms.

“I saw lighting strike the wing,” said the woman sitting next to us in the window seat: 13F.

I wasn't paying any attention to the window because I had to help me wife stay calm. When the plastic masks dropped I had to help her like a child. Gloria suffered a broken arm in an ATV accident in Cabo San Lucas a couple days before, and here we were going down in the Gulf of Mexico somewhere in the vicinity of Tampa Bay.

“I have something to tell you Tom,” she gasped.

“No better time than the present,” I told her, holding her in my arms like a baby.

She lifted her mask from her mouth to her nose and began talking, gradually louder to drown out the sound of the engine, warning beacons, and the screams of the passengers.

“I slept with your cousin at the wedding,” she said.

“Tom or Dave?” I asked.

“Both,” she said, “but not at the same time….You know we were all so drunk Tom.”

“And the beach was so beautiful,” I added.

“Oh, don't give me that dry sense of humor now goddamnit,” she scolded, “we're gonna die now and I just wanted you to know.”

“Thanks,” I said, pulling the oxygen mask down over her mouth; to shut her up if nothing else. She pushed it back up and shook her head in her hands and continued to confess her sins from decades past:

“At my mother's funeral I slept with your brother,” she said. “I didn't plan it, I just needed comfort and Donny was there for me--”

“Great,” I said.

I don't know if we were losing cabin pressure but the air was growing thick and more difficult to breathe. I could smell the bodies in the airplane and the residual scent of perfume was masked by body odor. People were swearing and crying as the plane shook violently from side to side and the pilot made an announcement:

“Ladies and gentlemen this is your captain speaking; we're experiencing some severe turbulence and loss of an engine. Please remain in your seats and assume the crash position with your seat belts securely fastened….Flight attendants please prepare for a crash landing.”

Hysteria filled the cabin and made the air impossible to breathe. I put my oxygen mask over my face and tightened the string behind my head. I let me wife struggle with hers. She was crying and I felt free as a bird, gliding downward toward the oceanic horizon; no more surprises and a timeless sense of being guided by a hand larger than my own.

“Our Father, who art in heaven,” began the lady in seat 13F.

“Hallowed be thy Name,” came a voice from seat 14E; directly behind me.

The Lord's Prayer filled the cabin with a chorus of distorted voices praying behind plastic masks, and Gloria joined the procession. When the prayer was finished she lifted the mask once again and looked me straight in the eyes. “I'm pregnant Tom,” she said.

The plane was shaking violently and luggage was flying all over the place from the overhead compartments. A bra landed on Gloria's head and I thought how fitting . I was sitting next to an adulterer and a whore, and I wish I had been unfaithful as well. It felt like the aircraft was completely out of control and about to plummet nose-first into the majestic water below--and I was ready to go to heaven--or any ethereal dimension away from my cheating wife, when the aircraft suddenly stabilized and the lights stopped flickering and the emergency beacons shut off and the pilot made another announcement:

“Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for your attention, it seems everything is fine and we can make it to the airport and God bless us all.”

Screams of joy reverberated through the cabin and Gloria was the only one who kept her oxygen mask on. She finally took it off after we landed safely on the tarmac of Tampa International Airport fifteen minutes later and she asked, “Who's picking us up?”

“All three,” I told her, “Donny and both cousins--”

“No,” she said.

“Yes indeed,” I promised.

There was nothing left to confess and little more to say, but I wasn't at all surprised when the words escaped my lips:

“Happy anniversary baby.”