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WIZARD ULTRA LAUNDRY DETERGENT
Robert William Shmigelsky

“Attention wives of ordinary husbands:
ever wonder how adventurers, heroes and heroines
keep their clothes looking clean and pristine
throughout long journeys and constant fighting?”

“Well, wonder no more: the secret is now revealed!
Now introducing to faithful consumers everywhere
Wizard Ultra Laundry Detergent: the cleaning power
of a wizard’s wave of his hand captured and placed
in small glass bottles – like the one I hold here in my hand.”

“With just one drop, it removes every stain and odor
on your clothes, leaving them as flawless as the day
you first stitched them together and lending them
a protective glaze to keep it that way for rest of day.”

“Guaranteed to extend the life of your wardrobe,
saving you time and money spent sewing new apparel.
Reasonably priced and available in wide selection of scents.
Don’t be shy! Step to my wagon and be first to try
cleaning power of Wizard Ultra Laundry Detergent!”