FRAGILITY
Oohah V Joslin

I know it won’t hurt me but even the white of it sends my heart racing, blood pumping; breathe out, breathe out, now in – slow – now out, out; keep a hold of your yourself. I tell myself just to grasp it boldly not using fingertips; fingertips are too sensitive… it’ll squeak and I’ll cringe when I should smile; not show I’m terrified though every hair on my body stands on end.

The thing is to keep smiling and say thank you; because I have to get the damned gift out of its packaging and I know it’s kind of them to think of me at all, my birthday coming so close after New Year. And I think how I hate all this – Takeaway and new electrics and how at this moment whatever is inside this polystyrene box cannot be half as fragile as me.

I make contact and pull the two halves apart. A delicate figurine falls to the floor, bounces once on the carpet then shatters.

‘Oh I’m so sorry,’ I say. But they all look at me as if I’d murdered Santa.