There are many shadows in this world, evil demons that should have been killed before they could draw their first breath. I know much about these cursed creatures, because I am one of them. My name is Aku-Oni and I am the blade of death. I am pure darkness, the soul of the rat in a befitting body. My fingers finish in sharp claws and behind me I stretch a thin, rodent tail. My body is covered in dark fur, and I have never found much need for speech. I am the shadow, I am the evil spirit of the rat.

They said "my condition" was my mother's fault. They said she slept with devils and was a whore. They are wrong, as always. My mother was a peasant from the province; her only fault was her foolishness. She married my father out of love and followed him to the city. Yet, once here, in Yoshima, the lack of money turned into lack of love. Soon she was cursing my father and the fate he had brought upon her, but by then it was too late. My mother already had a child and no other man would take her. Then, I was born and all my parents' dreams crumbled into dust.

###

The shadows of the thick forest hide my dark figure as I swim on currents of feelings and smells. I always had a talent for finding my target, a blessing from the Kami. Without this gift I would have been lost a long time ago. The forest I am traveling through is unlike any other I have ever seen. It has no paths and no traces of animals. It has no green sunshine or yellow leaves. It is nothing but silence and tall trees lost in darkness.

The legends talk about spirits and ghosts, but the men who whisper them are wrong, as usual. I know, many heroes have ventured within this dark forest and none have returned but I have yet to see a man killed by a spirit. Men get lost within the dark and the silence. They forget who they are and where they came from. Naturally, death claims them soon.

What saves me is my curse: I am no man. I am the shadow of the rat. This forest is close to my domain and it does nothing more than remind me of home; it reminds me of the past.

###

They said I was a punishment for my father's drinking and his recklessness as a gambler. Need I say how false their accusations are? He was indeed a careless drunk and he wagered everything he had on impossible odds. He lost many lifetimes' worth in gold on the dice tables and on races. But deep inside my father was a good man, not the best he could be but not the worst either. He loved his two older sons and his youngest daughter. He wished only the best for them. He even loved my mother, or at least he did until she gave birth to me. After that, he ignored her just as he ignored me. After my birth, he reached for the clear sake bottle quite often, trying to drown his shame and his hatred, but hatred never dies.

My parents blamed each other for my existence, and that made the hatred between them grow. My father would beat me and scream at my mother. My mother would kick me and scream at my father. Yet despite all of this, my purpose was never to be a reminder to a drunken gambler. I was merely a coincidence in my father's poorly calculated life.

###

This forest is more dangerous than I expected. I find myself sunk deep into memories of my early childhood. I must focus and not forget what my task it. The past is dead, and memories are just a hindrance.

I jump to my feet again and swiftly cut my way through thick layers of moss and dust. I am so far from the edge of the forest that nothing can grow here anymore. My sword is cutting through ancient mushrooms and mummified algae. I know that soon I will reach places where nothing ever lived. But I also know beyond that lies my goal, and that knowledge gives me strength.

I jump from a rocky cliff, landing softly in a bed of dust that rises in the darkness. As ancient cobwebs settle around me, I look up and I realize I cannot see the sky. The trees seem lost in the dark above me. I rise to my feet and continue; I enter deeper into the dead forest.

Soon, I can rest my sword. As I predicted, the moss disappears and there is nothing except trees and damp soil.

Suddenly, I see the yellow light of the moon, almost blinding me. The trees stop without warning. I venture towards the edge and in front of me is my goal, Oterra, the temple.

###

The tall, moonlit building reminds me of Yoshima. I have seen hundreds of temples like this in the busy streets of the ancient city. Its tall stone walls end in a red, slanted roof. It has narrow windows and large gates; all familiar shapes.

I know that what I am seeing now is just an exterior structure, used as living quarters as well as the first protecting wall. The actual temple is somewhere inside, well guarded and surrounded by gardens. Probably just a small house, built out of bamboo stripes and washi paper, a small house that holds the greatest mystery of this world.

I have been searching for my meaning ever since I ran away from home. And now, it was here, in front of me, the knowledge I desired most. The purpose of every living being was written down on ancient scrolls, scrolls that I will soon hold in my misshaped hands; scrolls that will reveal why such a creature like me can exist. What is my purpose? What is the reason I am alive in this pathetic existence? The two questions that powered my life will soon be answered.

###

My quest for my own purpose began a long time ago. It all started with my mother. One night she burst into my room yelling and hitting me. From her sobs I could understand my father was out drinking again and it was somehow my fault. I was used to the hitting and the screams. However, what followed took me by surprise.

When the strength to hit me left her body, instead of leaving she just fell to the floor. She was weak and helpless, as I never saw my mother before. Seeing her defenseless, within my reach, was all I needed for something inside me to snap. I felt a hunger and a rage I never knew existed. With one short snap I broke the chain that was holding me. With another snap I cracked my mother's skull open and I instantly killed her.

By the time I realized what I had done, it was too late. My mother lay dead in a pool of blood. I had to run, leave before I was discovered. But I was afraid, petrified with fear. As if on cue, my oldest brother showed his head in the door frame. I froze hunched over my mother's dead body. Merely seconds later my younger brother rushed into the room holding a rusty sword. Together they cornered me. I was surrounded. I had no escape. But then, in the dim moon light, I saw something in my younger brother's eyes that delighted me. They were scared too.

It was then that I realized I was the monster and they were nothing more than young, scared children. I could see in the dark, I was faster and deadlier then they could ever dream. I had all the advantages, and if I didn't use them they would kill me.

I was still young and inexperienced, but my instincts were sharp. I lunged towards my younger brother. In mid-air, rolling to avoid his sword, I hit my other brother. The hit made him fall and my claws made him blind. I turned and jumped at my other brother, avoiding his clumsy swings. I bit into his throat and tasted blood for the first time.

The fight was over in less than a minute and both my brothers were dead. With a newfound sense of pride I sneaked out of the house and into the night.

###

I check my weapons one last time before the battle. Two crossbows are mounted on my arms; they served me well many times when the enemy was out of reach. I have my daggers and of course I have my Katana. The best blade made in this world or any other. It can cut straight through a man's soul. Taken from the leader of the assassin

Guild before I killed him, it was a truly noble weapon. However, more deadly than any metal, I have my claws, my senses, and my skills, which have never failed me.

I make my way over the frozen gardens and fields. I fly towards my goal, covering the tracks in the snow behind me with a swing of my tail. I am a floating shadow, a blink of the eye, on an endless field of white.

As I near the temple I know I have been seen. I was not fast enough. Torches are lit and windows are open. I can sense the bowmen but I have no time to aim at them. I fly and hope the darkness will conceal me enough.

Indeed, they miss at first. One arrow hits my robe and I cut it open. It is pinned down with another five bolts before I can take three steps. I jump and roll, avoiding death with very step. No point in covering my tracks anymore. Finally, I throw myself over a concealed moat of spikes and land next to the temple wall.

The arrows are still flying, but I am too close to be seen. I start climbing and as the cold rock brushes against my fur I remember past days.

###

In front of me was the Assassins' Guild, an impressive sight. It was seven stories tall and had seven hundred banners, each representing one of its members. Its facade was lit by hundreds of torches and exploding fireworks, and thousands of beggars, troubadours, and whores littered the steps and the plaza in front of it. The free beer and food made it certain there would always be a crowd to get lost in; the perfect escape.

They say the easiest way to hide something is to put it in plain sight. It certainly worked for the Assassins' Guild. Everybody knew where it was and who to ask if they needed someone dealt with, but no one dared stand against them, unless they didn't value their life too much. There was nothing that could stop the assassins from running their business. They were ruthless yet dedicated to their demons, the perfect match for me.

I joined the guild a few weeks after escaping my family. It seemed the only place I could go with my appearance and my skills. The first days of freedom I spent in sewers and on roof-tops. Stealing food and hiding constantly was as bad as my captivity. Even worse, though, were the new worries that circled me. I started wondering why I existed, what purpose my disturbing appearance had in this world. I was very different from all humans around me, and I felt nothing of what they called love or sadness. Watching the stars at night, I felt pointless and out of place. I needed to find a purpose if I wanted to maintain my sanity.

Naturally, when I heard about the guild I felt it was my calling. I expected the assassins to give me comfort and a purpose in life. These were men similar to me, outcasts and shadows. I was so wrong.

They offered me no training at all. I received the poorest weapons and I was sent on the most dangerous missions. The guild kept all the profits and barely fed me. Now, looking back, I am sure they were afraid of my skills and tried to kill me several times. But back then I felt that I had found a family. For a few brief months I finally felt like I was at home, and I even harbored hopes that the darkness inside me was going to wither away, that maybe I could learn to feel. I was so naive. All I had done was trade a prison for another.

###

I jump onto the roof and land ready to fight. To my surprise, there are no guards pointing their bows at me. No trained warriors greet me with swords drawn. The roof-top is empty and I can finally judge the inside of the temple.

As expected, in the middle of the courtyard there is a small house, the place I need to reach, the real temple Oterra. Surrounding it are a series of islands covered by delicate bonsai trees, small walls and cliffs.

It's an odd architecture for a temple garden. Yet what truly surprises me is the clear water that doesn't seem to be frozen. Everything is covered in a thin layer of snow except for the waterways. As bizarre as it may seem, it is a beautiful contrast and I cannot help but admire the beauty and cold perfection of this strange garden. Such a shame that I must kill its creators.

Suddenly an arrow cuts the air, almost lodging itself into my right shoulder. I jump to a new position on the roof, scouting for the archer, but nothing seems to move in the cool air. Another arrow nearly misses me but this time I am lucky. I notice a dark shape on one of the many islands. Quickly, I fasten a safety line and throw myself towards it. Again, this temple surprises me; it is unexpected that only one archer would attack me. Besides, there are no bells ringing, no alarm sounds. The gardens are engulfed in deep silence.

Before I can reach the ground, an arrow cuts my rope and I fall into the pool of water. I realize why it isn't frozen. Not only is it a warm natural spring, there is constant movement within it. Hundreds of tiny fish start biting me, cutting through my skin and ripping into my meat. Luckily, the leather armor and my fur slow them down just enough. I reach an island and hoist myself up barely breathing. Bleeding and furious, I look after the archer that shot me down.

I notice another arrow seconds before hitting me. I dodge and start running towards the dark shape. As I get closer I stop in my tracks, realizing the archer is nothing like any warrior I had ever encountered. In front of me is a hideous creature reminding me of a spider. It has a human torso with seven legs emerging from its abdomen; while four arms are already targeting me. My second of shock is enough for him to aim and shoot. The arrows fly with incredible speed and precision. I understand why there is only one archer. He makes up for a whole army. His aim is perfect and only the shadows of the night protected me before.

I jump from island to island, hopping from tree to rook and back to tree. But despite my efforts the monster is tireless. I bless my crossbows as I aim and shoot both of them in midair. My bolts miss, but they distract him for a few precious seconds, and a few seconds is all I need. I jump again and land on his massive chest. My claws are sinking into warm flesh, and soon the spider creature falls dead. I rise from the still warm corpse and with a grin I make my way towards the temple. Nothing will stop me so close from my goal, nothing.

###

Slowly the guild revealed itself for what it was: a pack of lying, backstabbing murderers, blinded by the promise of high profits. I was sick and tired of the filthy and limited minds of the humans. I had no use for them or their ways.

Of course they did have use for me. I was their best weapon. I couldn't just leave whenever I wanted. The only logical solution I had was to kill them. I had to exterminate the Assassins Guild and its seven hundred members. It was an easy task since most of them relied on poisons and were powerless against my claws and steel. Add the element of surprise and it became all too easy.

The music drowned the cries for help and the crowds distracted anybody too curious. All I really needed to do was calmly walk from room to room killing my way up towards the tallest chambers. That night I bathed in blood and the shadow inside me was gleaming with joy.

The massacre continued until the first hours of dawn, when I finally approached the lord's chambers to finish my bloody task. I made sure to wake him up so he could see my face. It seemed like something I should do, like something that would give me immense joy. Humans do it all the time; revenge was a sweet nectar they said.

The whole spectacle left me with no extraordinary sensations. It was merely a problem that had been solved. The whole concept of revenge left me cold. The only thought racing through my mind as I was leaving the now empty guild, was my lack of purpose. I had expected the guild to be a family, the solution to my doubts; again I had been singled out. And how could it have been otherwise? I felt nothing human inside me. I felt nothing but a consuming hunger for something I lacked. It was the need for meaning, driving me mad with want. The guild merely helped deepen my fears and lack of certainty. I needed to find who I was if I wanted to keep my sanity, I simply had to.

###

Leaving the bloody body of the spider-archer behind, I approach the building on the largest island. It is greater than any other temple I have seen. Used just for quick prayers, most temples are barely two or three times my size. This one is ten times that and seems much longer. Just the giant red doors are taller than three men. However, they swing back at the lightest touch. I pause for a few seconds, waiting calmly for some trap. It is never as easy as it seems.

Sure enough, a strange sound makes me turn. I jump at the last minute, just before an axe hits the wooden door frame. In front of me are two very small women, both yielding double-sided axes.

"Mr. Rat, what you seek is not here. Now, please leave," they say in perfect high-pitched unison.

This temple is less of a sanctuary, much more like a freak show. I wait for the twin sisters to say something else, but instead they attack.

Between the two, they are by far the most challenging adversaries I have ever faced. Their swings throw me off balance and their speed is remarkable. I quickly dodge a barrage of blows and try to hit back. I am blocked again and again. The two are a perfect team. They coordinate their every move, always blocking and attacking at the same time. I aim and carefully shoot but even my arrows are dodged with great ease. My Katana is useless against the speed of the two axes. For the first time in years I feel a sliver of fear and I must retreat.

###

My life after annihilating the guild was a tedious search for meaning. I traveled far and searched many temples and ancient archives. I listened to wise men and read old scrolls but nothing seemed worthwhile. All mystic teachings were meant for men, not twisted demons devoid of feelings.

The only pattern I could find served only to deepen my desolation. Any mention of a creature similar to me in skill and appearance was about a devilish rat spirit and how it should be dealt with. Text after text contained warnings and directions on how one should kill the likes of me.

It was during these years that I took the name of Aku-Oni, evil demon, and I let the shadow inside me run loose. I became more merciless and brutal than ever before. But it brought me no joy. Something was always missing; I seemed doomed to be something I did not want to be. My appearance and my lack of deep feelings gave me the role of the evil one, a role I had never asked for and never wanted.

Eventually, I came to terms with my life and I almost gave up on my quest for purpose. All hope of understanding seemed lost and there were many days when I prayed some hero out to make a name for himself would find me and put an end to the whole misery. All of that changed the day I found the scroll mentioning Oterra. An old legend, it was the temple of temples; a place housing the meaning of all that existed.

It was that parchment mentioning Oterra that guided my steps to this place. It was the same parchment that warned me about the guardians of the truth. As each great artifact the temple of Oterra was guarded by mystical creatures of great strength and power. I dismissed these legends as old stories and myths, yet now my enemies were far from being a myth. And I was feeling tired and weary.

###

Every one of my attacks is blocked. One of my daggers lies broken on the ground and my arrows are useless. I jump looking for one single mistake, one small flaw that I can exploit, but the sisters are as strong as I am, if not stronger. They attack, waiting for me to tire and slip. I must win before that happens.

A simple idea springs to my mind. With a short swing I cut the nearest tree connecting two islands. I run on this improvised bridge and wait. As expected, the sisters follow me. I fight slower and I gladly let them get one or two hits closer than one should. I retreat and let them follow me one after the other. At the right moment, when they are sure the battle is won and confidence makes their eyes blurry, I hit. I hit again and again in a fighting frenzy. I know this is my last attack, my last chance to win and I put everything in it. Hit after hit, blow after blow I slowly push them back.

Finally I have my opening. One of the sisters glances behind her. A small mistake: who wouldn't be concerned on a wet log above those waters? I seize the opportunity and strike hard. The other sister tries to block but the narrow log doesn't let her get close enough. My hit reaches its target and the woman gasps one last time before falling into the infested waters. Alone, the other twin is no challenge and she soon follows. My path is free once more.

Inside, the temple seems deserted. The large stone galleries are empty except for a few paintings and statutes dedicated to gods I do not recognize. I follow the long corridor in front of me, paying little attention to the altars on my sides. There are several niches with strange statues of giants and other creatures. But none of this interests me; I cannot keep track of all the gods and demons of the human mind; I am too busy with my own.

I reach the main room of the temple soon enough. It is a circular stone chamber with four windows, blocked by wooden panels. In the middle there is a small pedestal with a golden box on it. For a second I wonder where the thousands of scrolls with the knowledge of all life are hidden but I dismiss the thought. Now, I must focus on the artifact in front of me, my prize.

I carefully move closer, bowing every third step as I was instructed by the ancient scriptures. There is no fear and no joy inside my heart. I feel no need to make speeches, although I have reached my life long goal. I simply kneel in front of that plain altar and with one fast swing I open the box.

Instantly a howl erupts from inside it, and I fall on all my fours. My muscles are tied down and I feel my skin tightening on my bones. I pull with all my strength and the howl gets louder and louder deafening me. I twist under the heavy pull and I slowly feel like something is coming off my skin. It feels like a dirty scab, removed with sickening pain and pleasure. Suddenly I am released and I jump to a safe distance. The howl ceases and the lid snaps closed. Small cracks appear in the stone pedestal and strange greenish light seems to glow from within them, fighting to break through. Something horrible is on its way and all my senses tell me to run. I obey. Without thinking I jump through the nearest window. Darkness surrounds me for a second and I feel a sickening twist in my stomach.

When I finally open my eyes I find myself on the roof of an old building. I recognize the abandoned hospital I used as a home after escaping from my parents. I used to spend as much time as I could on this very roof. The sky was always so pretty at night and the stars so bright. Here I could forget what I was and I could fall asleep undisturbed by strange voices.

A gentle brush of wind makes me turn. Behind me there is a devilish looking creature, staring with enormous eyes. It is about my height but it looks starved. Its skin is dried on its bones and I am amazed it can move at all. It makes a small step towards me and I notice its long tail, covered in spikes. Its big colorless eyes look at me hungry, expecting something. I try to move but the eyes have me trapped. I seem to loose myself in those endless pools of nothing and I see my life, as it could have been were I not the monster I am. Happy, sun-filled days, a family, friends, it all flashes before me.

A cold, wet hand pushes me to the ground and for a second the mirage is broken. I can see the sharp teeth of that hideous monster closing in as it holds me down. Then I am lost again in that world that could have been. I see my father, proud of me and my mother smiling. But there is something odd about that smile. Her teeth are too sharp.

Pain fills my shoulder and I snap out of the dream. Before it can react I kick the creature and jump to my feet. My instincts saved me once more. I turn to run but the creature appears in front of me, grinning. I skid to a stop and reach for my Katana but the sword is gone. The enormous eyes begin to fascinate me once more and I cannot look away. I know I am doomed and this will be my death. The knowledge somehow relieves me. I can finally put an end to the pathetic solitude that is my life. It would be so easy to slip away and let that dark creature feed. Why not?

Something snaps inside me, yelling at my weakness. I know what it is. I know why I cannot rest. The question is not answered. I cannot die like this, surrounded by darkness. My claws shoot straight, meeting the creature's bony chest. Its ribs crack with a sick sound and it falls back, bleeding. It howls at me in surprise and that inhumane cry runs up my spine, exploding in my head. My mind seems to break into thousands of pieces but the pain passes quickly and there is nothing left but another dead demon, lying in front of me.

I fall to the ground, thanking the skies for this victory. For the first time in years I look at the stars again and I smile. I do not grin, I smile. I am alive and that is all that matters. I have failed in my quest once more but somehow that is distant and unimportant, all that matters is the beauty of the sky and the strangely new feeling of calm happiness that falls over me. As the feeling warms my body I know I won more than I could have ever expected.