<quinn>

The Last Cast

As he cast his line into the lake, Tom knew his chances were bleak. He had been fishing the same lake for over ten years and had never been able to reel anything in. Yet day after day, week after week he went to the lake, cast, sat and waited. Occasionally, he would try different bait, sometimes he would try a different spot on the lake, but in the end, the results were the same. Tom went home empty handed.

***

“I miss you,” Tom said but did not wait for a response as he made his way past the picture frames sitting on his coffee table. He didn't bother to turn on any lights but walked through the living room into the hall and finally into his bedroom. He took off his shoes and collapsed into his bed.

Reaching over to the night stand brighten only by the light of the moon through the window Tom's finger pressed lightly against the picture frame. A tear rolled down his cheek as he mouthed “good night my love.” He could not find a reason to stay awake and quickly drifted off into a still slumber.

***

“Good morning my love,” echoed in the otherwise quiet house as Tom rolled out of bed to start his day. Each day had been the same for him. Each day had broken him into smaller and smaller pieces until all that was left amounted to dust. He could live his days without knowing it and many days he did. Stuck in autopilot for as long as he could remember he set out to the lake.

There were people at the lake. They were smiling and laughing as they reeled in their catch. He didn't hate those people, he envied them. All he wanted was what they had, but he hadn't been able to hold onto. He walked around the lake to a secluded location; he tied on his lure and sent his line into the lake convinced today was his day.

After a few hours of casting and reeling, he found himself at peace. The very reason he kept returning. He closed his eyes and listened to nature around him. The birds chirping in the trees, the occasional fish jumping out of the water, and he thought, if only for a second, he might be able to smile and enjoy his life as it was left to be. He thought upon the last time he smiled. He was looking out at the ocean and waving to his wife as she swam about in the water.

“Honey come for a swim with me,” she had said looking so beautiful in her bathing suit on that warm sunny day.

“I will, I will, give me a minute,” he replied lying out on his blanket in the sun.

As quickly as the smile arrived, it left. Tom's moment of peace and tranquility had disappeared. Once again, Tom was back into the reality of his misery.

***

He looked at his watch and realized his time was running out. He knew that today was the day for him to end his streak of failures. He had endured a great deal of loss in his time and was convinced that today he would end up where he belonged, where he had wanted to be for the last ten years. He reeled in his line and cast out once more. Had he been more skilled, he thought to himself, he would not be at the lake. He would already have his catch and be home. His home would be filled with light and warmth. He would envy no one but be envied. But this was not to be. “I'm so sorry honey, I miss you so much” Tom said out loud as his tears began to fall once again. He looked out to the water and his mind slipped back to that day.

***

“Honey lets go to the beach, it is amazing outside," she said looking young and lively.

“Alright let's go you know I can't say no to you.”

He had wanted to stay at home but it was a beautiful day and she had wanted to go. He would always do anything she wanted, anything to see her smile. Later that day Tom looked out onto the ocean and saw his wife swimming, he decided to lie down on the beach and enjoy the sun. He slipped into a peaceful sleep. He should have just gone in the water when she asked; he should have jumped up and swam out to her and just told her how he loved her. Instead, he dreamed of children, a life filled with fullness and love. He awoke to the sounds of worried commotion. He swam out to retrieve her. He tried to revive her. He had failed.

***

“Ten years, love. Ten years ago I should have swam out to you” he said as he awoke from his reoccurring memory.

In that time, he tried to move on. His attempts had been great, but fruitless. His life had been diminished by that day and he knew he would never be able to live as one of the people he envied. As he looked out into the lake, he saw his bobber floating perfectly still. No bites, no interest, another day of reliving his failure.

He decided to reel in his line, put away his gear and retire. He had put in his last effort; he had his last cast, and had not found any reason to continue. He turned and walked to his truck. He passed the people he envied. Some smiling as they held their catch in the air, some sitting and waiting as he had done for so many years, and others in the middle of a great tug of war with their catch. He loaded up his truck and drove away.

Tom did not drive to his dark house. He drove to where he last smiled; the place which stole from him his life and dreams. The sand felt warm under his feet and he took a deep breath of the salty air. He looked out into the ocean and saw his wife swimming and smiling. “Sure honey, I'd love too,” he said reliving his time on the beach. He smiled and set out to be with the one he had been denied for over a decade.

Casey Quinn is a writer of poetry and short fiction. He is the editor of Short Story Library – http://shortstory.us.com and also does a variety of freelance writing and blogging.