The Proposition
© Shane Bliss

The man across from me twirled a cigarette around in his hand. The funny thing is, I don't think he ever smoked it. It must just be another thing he tries to do to make him seem better than everyone else. God, I really hate him. But since I'm essentially a different kind of businessman, I try not to let personal opinions get in the way.

“Run this by me one more time,” he said.

“No offense, but I think I've explained it enough. There's not much more to it.”

Okay, so maybe I do speak my mind from time to time. Nobody's perfect.

“I know. I guess I'm just a little unsure about the whole thing.”

“That's understandable. Most people feel that way.”

I guess I have a tendency to lie a bit too. To tell the truth, not as many people are as unsure as you would think. Well, given the world we live in, maybe that shouldn't be a surprise at all.

“Really?”

“Oh yeah. All the time.”

“Well, I guess that's a little reassuring.”

Now, normally I would have thought someone saying that was being sarcastic. With this guy, I'm pretty sure that he wasn't. Maybe I should feel bad for him, but it's actually pretty convenient since I'm not that good of a liar. It really works out well for both of us.

“So,” I said. “Let's cut to the chase. Are you in or not?”

“Maybe a little more time to think might be good.”

“Time is a problem. I'm a busy man, you see. The more time I spend waiting for an answer from you is time I'm not working.”

That's not really true either. Business is normally pretty slow, in actuality. That's not the kind of thing you tell a potential customer. What you've got to do is pressure them into making a decision. They'll almost always say yes. It's just smart negotiating.

“I understand,” he said. The cigarette was still moving around in his hand. At this point it was getting real annoying. I could have smacked it out his hand, but that would have been rude. I'm a nice guy, really.

“Can I just ask you something?”

“Shoot,” I said.

“Will this really go off without a hitch? No one will ever know?”

“Trust me. I'm the best there is.”

“I haven't really shopped around, so I'll take your word for it.”

“So, do we have ourselves a deal?”

“I guess so. I have the money here. Do you want it now?”

“Sure.”

He gave me the money, but I could tell that he was still a little bit uneasy. I really didn't need to say anything else. I did anyway. I'm
just that good of a guy.

“Don't think of it as killing someone. Just think of it as buying a ticket to the White House.”

He smiled. That was good enough for me.

Well, not quite. I stopped before walking out the door.

“And you might want to lay off the cigarettes. They're bad for you.”

I'm not that witty all the time, but I guess the occasional snappy line comes to me. Some things are just too good to resist.

I still haven't spent the money yet. Whenever I get cash, I try to think carefully about what I'm going to buy. You'd have to be a fool just to spend a ton of money on something unnecessary.

And you'd probably twirl around cigarettes in your hand, too.