Swing © Joshua Scribner
“The staff reports that you have been calm and cooperative this month.” Doctor Lita Carol said.
The woman in the chair across the room smiled and nodded. She was tall and thin, with short brown hair. She wore the long blue robe that marked her as a patient. One hand was free, and one was cuffed to her chair, which was bolted to the floor.
“Of course. And they've all been very nice to me.”
“I'm glad to hear that, Lucy. It sounds like your medication is working.”
Lucy made a motion with her free hand as if to brush aside the comment and then said, “Oh no. Not at all.”
Doctor Carol studied her for a few seconds, just to see if she was serious. She appeared to be.
“How is it that you're in this level state then? You have severe Bipolar Disorder. You usually fluctuate between extreme states of depression and extreme states of mania.”
Lucy shrugged. “Hmm. Not how I would put it.”
Doctor Carol was intrigued. Right now, Lucy was a strange combination of argumentativeness and calmness that she had never seen in her. She wanted to know more about what was going on in this patient's head. “How would you put it?”
Lucy touched a finger to a lip. “I'd say I fluctuated between hating my own existence and trying to escape myself.”
The doctor smiled. “Fair enough, but you have to agree that the medicine is effective.”
Lucy laughed, and even that was calm. “In your mind, I really do have to agree. You think that if I think the meds work, I'll take them, which makes me less of a threat to myself and others, which makes it safe to release me.”
Doctor Carol shrugged. “That's pretty much the idea.”
Lucy almost seemed to be mimicking her with a shrug of her own. “Well, you've been monitoring me long enough to know the medicine doesn't always work with me and you end up giving me ECT. I mean, I've been electrocuted more times than the dumbest dog with a shock collar.”
The doctor ignored the joke, and said, “If I didn't have the chart in front of me, and if I didn't know that it's nearly impossible for you to remain level without them, I'd think you were trying to tell me you haven't been taking your meds.”
Lucy spoke as if she had not heard the last comment. “It's like I was on this swing. I'd swing back toward hating myself and then back toward the escape, and the further I went one way, the further I'd go back the other.”
“Lucy, have you been taking the meds? Your chart says you have. Your behavior says you have.”
“Then I finally went far enough down that I swung back high enough to finally reach it.”
“Lucy, answer my question please.”
“Now it's over. I don't need to swing anymore, because once you've escaped yourself completely, you can do it anytime you want.”
“Lucy, it sounds as if you're having delusions without the mood swings. That means you may have some other form of psychosis other than what your Bipolar Disorder causes.”
“Oh no. I'm not actually sick at all.”
“Lucy, I'm going to go ahead and change your diagnosis, and you'll be getting your medication intravenously now.”
Lucy laughed very loudly, but still not manically. “I've been flushing my medication for weeks, and no ones going to stab or shock me ever again.”
“Lucy, your state of mind is compromised.”
“Not really, but yours is about to be. I'm about to escape myself.”
With that, Lucy seemed to kind of collapse in the chair. She was perfectly still, like the life had just fallen out of her. Doctor Carol hit her panic button and started to get up. She suddenly couldn't move. The world went black.
###
“You had the power. Now I have the power.”
She heard the familiar voice and opened her eyes. She was very tired, but started to invigorate rapidly when she saw who had spoken.
“That's right. I have your power now, and I'm going to set some of my friends free.”
Doctor Carol was looking at her own face, and there wasn't a mirror in front of her.
“I'm going to prescribe something to help you sleep. You'll be very drowsy for the next few days.”
“No.”
She got up but couldn't go too far with her hand cuffed to the chair.
“No! This can't be! You couldn't!”
“I did.”
Just then, the door burst open and two husky orderlies came into the room.
“You hit the panic button,” one of them said.
“Yes. Lucy seems to be relapsing. Can you take her to her room?”
“No! I'm not Lucy!”
“You may have to restrain her further.”
“No! I'm not Lucy! I'm Doctor Carol.”
“Oh my! She's seems disoriented to person. This is much worse than I thought. Better rush her down for ECT.”
One of the orderlies ran out. She knew this procedure. He was going for a gurney.
“No! Don't shock me! I'm Doctor Carol.”
“It's a shame,” the remaining orderly said. “She really seemed to be getting better.” |