Jasmine's Pictures

© Christine Whitmarsh

Eight year old identical twins Jasmine and Joel climbed up onto the top step together and stood on their tiptoes, leaning over the side of the coffin, looking down at their mother.

“Mommy never wore blue eye shadow, Joel. Why did they do that to her?” asked Jasmine.

“I guess they forgot to ask daddy first,” said Joel.

“Well, they should have. They're stupid!” hissed Jasmine loudly.

“I think she looks pretty anyway,” said Joel.

“Except for her eyes,” insisted Jasmine stubbornly.

“Shut up!” said Joel loudly.

“Shh! We have to be quiet here,” said their father, rushing up to the front of the church to them.

He stood with them for a moment and all three looked down at the body of the only love of his life and the world's best mother, wasted away from cancer. Her family had fought hard for a closed casket, but he needed to see her for one last time.

“Come on, let's go and sit down,” whispered the twins' father.

He grasped each twin firmly by the hand and led them to the front pew of the church. The twins, looking very confused, continued to glance back at the coffin.

Later that morning, the twins and their father stood in the center of a sea of black clad mourners in the cemetery. The coffins rested on metal brackets, suspended over a giant hole in the ground.

“As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death...” the minister preached.

“Bo-ring!” said Jasmine.

“Shh! You have to be quiet here Jasmine,” said her father.

“Nancy was loved by everyone who knew her...” the minister continued.

Everyone in the large crowd surrounding the dirt hole, except for the two littlest ones, held on to his every word. Neither twin understood what the point of any of this was. The lady in that box looked nothing like their mother so it didn't occur to them to be sad. Joel tugged on his father's elbow

“Daddy, let's go home now,” he said.

“We can't go home. Not yet. We have to finish... Just be a good boy and be quiet,” his daddy said, giving his son what he intended to be a reassuring shoulder squeeze.

Joel frowned and fidgeted.

“And so we commit our sister Nancy, to God and his son...” said the minister.

“I want to go home Daddy. I want my pictures,” said Jasmine.

“Shh! We'll go home soon. But first, you both have to be quiet,” said her father.

The twins fidgeted at their father's side right up until the coffin was lowered into the ground. With each turn of the metal handle that lowered it, they felt their father gripping their hands tighter and tighter.

“Daddy!” Jasmine complained, wrenching her hand from his and glaring at him.

“I'm sorry baby,” her father said.

He tried to give her a hug, but she grabbed her twin's hand and dragged him over to the side of the dirt hole. As the twins peeked in cautiously, their father walked up behind them.

“Say goodbye to your mother,” he said, handing them each a white rose.

The twins looked at each other in horror and Jasmine started to cry.

“No, I can't! I need my pictures!” she said.

She hurled the rose at her father and leapt into the grave.

“Jasmine!” her father shouted peering down into the grave.

But she wasn't down there. As he stood staring dumbfounded and a wave of people spilled forward, Joel followed suit and leapt in after his sister.

The twins tumbled wildly down the endless black hole, until the sunlight above had completely disappeared. A floodlight from below replaced it, lighting their way. A gleaming disc covered in black and white checkered tiles grew closer and closer. Jasmine and Joel continued to tumble out of control, screaming and clutching at each other in space. Right before impact, they floated gently onto the center of the checkered floor feet first. They looked around and saw that they were in a small round room with no doors or windows, now lit from overhead by the unseen floodlight.

“I'm scared Jasmine,” said Joel.

Jasmine busied herself looking and feeling for a way out. Joel imitated her actions. The black steel walls felt cool under his fingertips. He looked up to see if he could get a glimpse of the cemetery or of daddy, but the light shone so brightly in his eyes that he blinked and focused on walking in circles, feeling the walls again. He didn't know what he was supposed to be looking for but since Jasmine did (as usual) he kept quiet and kept doing what she was doing. On his second time around the circle of wall, Joel felt it move forward a little when he pressed on it.

“Jasmine - over here!” he yelled to the other side of the room.

He kept pushing the wall in until a tunnel appeared.

“And just high enough for me to climb into!” Jasmine exclaimed happily, seeming very unsurprised by the sudden appearance of the tunnel in front of her brother.

Jasmine pushed Joel aside and scrambled into the tunnel, climbing forward on her hands and knees. The entire tunnel matched the black and white checkered floor outside it.

“Jasmine wait for me!” Joel cried out, climbing in after her.

The two climbed through the tunnel that turned into a checkered hallway that seemed to go on forever. The checkered floor turned into a pale yellow linoleum kitchen floor.

Two identical front doors that looked like they belonged to a very familiar house faced each other at the end of the hallway. Jasmine sniffed the air.

“I smell mommy's chocolate chip cookies!” she exclaimed, clapping her hands together.

Joel bent down and ran his hand over the kitchen floor.

“And she just waxed the floor,” he said.

He looked up at Jasmine and smiled. The twins giggled in delight and ran and slid down the slippery hallway until they found themselves looking up at one of the doors.

“We're home,” said Jasmine.

Without a moment's hesitation and leaving Joel still sitting in the hall, she opened the door and ran inside.

“Mommy! We're home!” he heard her calling as she ran.

“Come on Joel! Let's get some cookies!”

“Jasmine wait!”

He scrambled to his feet and ran inside where he found Jasmine sitting in the kitchen happily eating fresh baked chocolate chip cookies right off the tin baking sheet. Their mother was nowhere in sight.

“They're still warm and gooey,” she said through a mouthful of cookie.

Joel looked around suspiciously at the kitchen and the door that they had just come in through.

“Where's the rest of the house?” he asked.

“I dunno,” Jasmine said through another mouthful of cookie.

Joel joined his sister at the table and took a bite out of a cookie.

“Mmmm!” he said.

“Told you so,” said Jasmine.

Suddenly they heard footsteps coming up the stairs from the basement. Jasmine and Joel heard the footsteps coming up the basement stairs even though they both knew there was no basement. Both twins froze and looked up where, in their real house, the basement door would be.

“That must be mommy,” said Jasmine, although she still looked scared.

“Come on!” said Joel.

He grabbed his twin by the hand and looked for a place for them to hide. There is only the kitchen table, so they scurry underneath it.

“But what if is really mommy?” Jasmine whispered.

“Shhh,” said Joel.

The steps grew louder until they heard the sound of the invisible basement door opening. They watched as two panty hose clad legs in a swishy, colorful skirt entered the kitchen, and plopped a laundry basket full of fluffy towels that smelled of lavender down on the floor. There was a brief but blinding flash of light. Joel squinted. The twins held their breath and crawled toward the kitchen wall as their mother crouched down under the table.

“Mommy!” Jasmine shouted with glee.

Joel flattened himself against the wall, his eyes wide with fear.

“What are you two monsters doing under there?” their mother said, her face radiating with laughter.

She looked healthy, robust, and was smiling with outstretched arms. Jasmine flew out from under the table and into her mother's arms. Joel remained under the table.

“She looks like she used to,” he said to himself but his mother overheard (just like she always did).

“What do you mean honey?” she asked, gazing at him adoringly.

Joel covered his ears and yelled.

“She doesn't look like that anymore! That's not mommy!”

Joel grabbed Jasmine's hand, dragged her out of the kitchen, and out the front of the house door back into the checkered hallway. Jasmine hit him on the arm.

“What'd you do that for? I wanted to see mommy again!” she snapped.

“That wasn't mommy! Come on!” said Joel.

He grabbed her hand again and ran back down the hall toward the original round room they had fallen down into. But the hallway itself had turned into a new circle and with doors facing them from all directions.

“What happened to the hole? Where's daddy?” asked Jasmine, spinning around, looking at all the doors.

“I don't know,” said Joel, “But I think you should pick a door.”

“Which one?” asked Jasmine.

“It doesn't matter. One of them has to lead home. Pick one.”

Jasmine covered her eyes, spun around several times, and pointed at a door.

“That one. That one goes home,” she said.

They went to the door she chose but then hesitated in front of it.

“You sure?” asked Joel.

“Yes,” Jasmine said and Joel believed her.

They opened the door and walked in. Joel looked down and saw the checkered floor change into dirt. As the twins walked through the woods, they touched the trees to see if they were real. Jasmine even tried to touch a squirrel that stood still for just a moment before scampering up the very real trees. Finally they arrive at a campsite. Their father, at the grill making burgers, turned and grinned.

“Hey you two! You'd better clean up for dinner. Don't let your mother see those dirty little fingers,” he laughed.

The twins looked down at their suddenly soiled hands.

“Okay daddy,” said Jasmine.

She scurried off to a nearby water pump and washed her hands under it.

“Jasmine, don't!” said Joel, suddenly afraid again.

“Stop telling me what to do!” said Jasmine, sticking out her tongue at her twin.

Their mother, fit and athletic in her hiking clothes, walked up behind Joel and put her hands on his shoulders.

“Hey bud! Better follow your sister's lead,” she said.

As she kissed his head, Joel leapt back from her in fear.

“What's the matter hon?” she asked, but didn't appear upset or confused.

She seemed just as happy and content as she always had been on their camping trips. Joel ran out through the woods with Jasmine on his heels.

“Joel! Come back! I'm not done!” she was yelling.

Soon the dirt turned back into checkered linoleum and the two left the room, shutting the door behind them.

“Why do you keep leaving?” asked Jasmine.

“They're not mommy!” said Joel defiantly.

They looked around the ring of doors again.

“Now where?” asked Jasmine.

“This time, I get to pick which door!” said Joel.

He opened a door and entered the room, with Jasmine following him this time. This time the linoleum floor changed into a sterile white hospital floor. Their mother, a small, frail and sickly figure in the big hospital bed, lifted her head up weakly from her pillow to greet them.

“Hey you guys!” she croaked.

“Mommy!” Joel said.

He flew across the room into his mother's arms as Jasmine hovered in the doorway.

“What's the matter Jasmine?” their mother asked.

Jasmine shook her head tearfully and stayed in the doorway, standing on the small remaining patch of checkered linoleum from the circular room outside.

“Jasmine, come here and stop being a dummy!” said Joel.

“This isn't my room. It's yours,” she answered stubbornly.

“What are you talking about?” he asked.

They both looked around the sterile room.

“Thank you for the pretty balloons Jasmine,” said their mother.

She pointed at a floating bundle of red balloons that suddenly appeared in the corner of the room. Jasmine perked up.

“Joel, come on! I know how to get home!”

She exited the room and Joel followed, kissing and hugging mother one last time before leaving. Their mother blew a kiss after them as they shut the door.

“Good girl Jasmine,” she whispered before lying back on the pillow and closing her eyes.

Once again, the twins found themselves in the circular hallway of identical doors. Jasmine pointed at a door right away, without hesitation.

“That one!” she exclaimed.

Joel looked at the standard door indifferently.

“Why?” he asked, not seeing any difference between that door and the others.

“'Cuz,” she said and pointed down.

A single red balloon that swore was not there before, was now tied to the door knob. Jasmine turned the knob and the twins ran through the door. They were back at the funeral. But they are alone at the gravesite. The coffin has already been lowered into the hole, but they are still standing on the checkered linoleum floor.

They walked slowly up to the empty metal brackets, suspended over the same endless dirt hole that took them away before. The twins peeked cautiously into the hole – and gasped. Their mother looked healthier than ever. She stood in the center of the round black and white checkered disc way down below, waving up at them.

“Mommy!” they shouted gleefully.

She smiled and blew them a kiss. Then she turned and walked through one of the doors.

“No!” the twins yelled.

They started to dive into the hole again. Their father and the minister grabbed the twins as they nearly fell into the grave, fingers outstretched. The twins blinked, and saw that the checkered room below had turned into a wooden coffin covered with white roses.

“Kids!” said their father.

He pulled them close and faced them on his knees.

“What on earth were you doing?” he asked.

Jasmine and Joel looked at each other.

“Saying goodbye,” they said.

Their father hugged them tightly and kissed them.

“Okay,” he said, “Let's go home.”

He blew one last kiss down to the coffin, grasped the children's hands, and the three walked back through the cemetery towards the line of parked cars.

“Oh, Jasmine. I almost forgot,” he said.

He reached into his coat pocket, pulled out some photos, and handed them to Jasmine.

“My pictures!” she exclaimed.

She climbed into the backseat of the car and curled up, happily flipping through her pictures. There was one of their mother and the twins baking cookies in the kitchen. The next one showed her and the twins laughing and splashing water on each other at the water pump while burgers grilled nearby, on a family camping trip in the woods. In the next photo, mother helped her twins celebrate their birthday in a sea of red balloons.

And finally, there was the oldest photo of all. In it, their young, radiant mother proudly cradled her newborn twins in her arms in the hospital nursery. Her rocking chair sat on a black and white checkered floor.

Excerpt from the letter that their mother left for Jasmine and Joel to read someday…

And so, the best things I can tell you about life are this, my darlings:

Always find someone or something to appreciate instead of just waiting to be appreciated

Laughter is a great way of breaking up all the regular, boring breathing in and out

The greatest wish I have for you is to someday feel all the love that I felt when I held you in my arms for the first time.